Sensitive Post.. Please be honest. What would you do?

[4thTimeLuckyWithBoo]

Firstly this is a sensitive post.. But i know people will have different opinions.

I'm just over 18 weeks pregnant after losing my son at 6 months in 2012. You can imagine that mine and my partners relationship has been rocky but the past year it has been really good.

Anyway I got took into hospital Monday because I had cramps and a little bleed. They said everything was fine but wanted to keep me in. My partner was 6 hours away at this point working and couldnt cone home. I kept him upto date, and messaged him at half 11.. I got no reply. I thought nothing of it.

The next day the scanned me to find that my cervix had gone from 2.5cm to 1.2cm in a matter of days. I had a cervical stitch placed on Tuesday at 5pm. My partner at this point just started travellig home. He got home at 12.30am on the wednesday and stopped at the hispital with me.

On the wednesday morning I woke up the usual.. I got checked over, had some blood so had to stay in longer. My partner. went to make me breakfast in the patient kitchen whilst I was on his phone trying to find a webpage for girl clothes on his history which i previously looked at.. I found porn on his history from the first night in hospital when he never text ne back. Atleast 5 links :-(.

I confronted him he said he didn't do it. I left it at that because i couldn't get worked up. Yesterday when he was away i text him about it.. he admited to viewing it.. he said he didn't watch it and it didnt do anything for him :-(. I text him that night and he never replied because he was to busy with porn :-(. I was ill with our daughter in me :-(.

What would you do if you was in my situation? I'm distraught how he did this to ne whilst i was ill!

He is now acting like nothing has happened, I can't really do much because I'm on rest so relying on him. We was meant to be getting married in four months :-(. Be honest.

I would be more upset he had time to do anything other than get back to me. The porn part wouldn't bother me, it's the fact he never texted back.

I would be upset and i can understand why you are upset but for now please relax and focus on your pregnancy, unless there are other issues i would try to let this go for now as stress really isn't good for you.

Um, sorry but I think the story of the ex is a massive issue.

He lied to you for a year about this woman. A year. This isn't a little lie. It is huge. He must have lied (by omission at least) dozens and dozens of times. He lied about three whole years of his life. How is that possible?

Stop putting the blame on her for trying to get back with him and shift your focus to your partner. She didn't force him to lie to you. That was all on him.

He sounds very immature tbh. Making up a load of silly lies about the ex rather than telling the truth.

Porn and play station, again immature escapism. Bit like a fourteen year old.

Consider if that's what you really want because sadly it could take a long while for him to grow up. Did his mum do everything for him? Do you? Do you all excuse him for pathetic behaviour?

Now, as a midwife, as you've been told it would be plain daft to arrange your own wedding at a point when your baby might decide to show up. Usually the stitch comes out at the point you are considered full term, 37 weeks. Sometimes the woman goes straight into labour and sometimes not. If there aren't any other complications they will let nature take it's course which means you could even end up being induced for post maturity (being overdue).

It's a really uncertain time and you just have to go with the flow.

Finally, I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you and your DP can pull through all this together and you can discuss with him calmly the need to grow up and do it fast!