Strategies for Shutting Up

[SinisterSal]

Minor problem -
Argh I am so annoyed with myself.
Not every morning but a lot of mornings I am a right bitch to DH. I'm fine once I'm awake for half an hour and the rest of the day quite a nice person.
But I am really grumpy and say things in a nasty snidey angry way to him.

About nothing really, little minor things that may be a bit annoying. if I wait for half an hour to express my annoyance I can say it calmly and politely, he then sees my point and rectifies it mostly. So he's not horrible or anything we are both considerate people who are nice to each other. Except me for 30 mins in the morning.

So it's not fair on him and a horrible start to the day so how do I shut the fuck up until i'm able to keep a civil tongue in my head?

Take yourself off somewhere for half an hour! Retire to the bathroom, do your make-up, or head to the kitchen and have some tea/coffee or whatever it is that helps you come round of a morning.

If it's only for half an hour, till you're properly awake and functioning, then make a point of removing yourself from his company for that time.

Yeah. simple solution really. Set the clock earlier. Curse and mutter for a bit and wake him, but it's better than the alternative i suppose.

Yes definitely - some people just take longer to wake up than others. You know how some people say "Don't even try to talk to me until I've had my coffee!" - they're not joking!

Agreed with RBR

What do you think was stopping you from seeing these solutions yourself?

Have you talked to him about this? because you know that if someone posted on here about their DP's being vile first thing in he morning, they wouldnt be advised to give them their space, they would be told to LTB! You need to tell him that you are aware that you are being shitty to him and that you don't mean it, then ask him to give you some space in the mornings - or just take it, but do make sure he is aware that he may have to put some coffee around the bedroom door and come back when its safe :)

I have said it to him and I do always apologise. He's ok about it, but it's starting ti grate on him, obviously. It's not a way to carry on is it. Apologising while doing nothing wears out quick.

I was hoping someone would have an idea besides getting up earlier tbh, am pg, shattered, with 2 other kids so I love my sleep.

Is the tiredness the cause? Maybe get up at the same time but go to bed earlier? Look at changing your alarm clock? I get really grumpy if I am woken up suddenly but am better if I can come to slowly so I prefer a radio alarm or something like that - I usually snooze for 10 mins and then read facebook on my phone to wake up a bit.

I don't see that being alone for 30 minutes means you need to get up earlier but it depends what your routine is in the morning - could you jump straight in the shower and then avoid DH for half an hour? Are you snappy with the kids too or just him?

I think if you really can't just sit quietly with a coffee for half an hour without speaking then you need to address whatever's causing you to be nasty. You don't even need to get up earlier - just don't talk!

I am nasty when I'm hungry - I'll snap at DH and anyone else in the vicinity and life will seem terrible until I've eaten. Solution - I try not to let myself get hungry, but also, DH knows I am like this and he knows the cause, so he doesn't get offended when I'm being grumpy, and I am less grumpy because I know the cause and the solution.

But if there's really nothing else bothering you, I think it's fine to just accept that something about that time of day makes you feel like rubbish. I've always wondered what it is about being woken up in the middle of the night makes everything seem really scary and worrying - maybe you are just getting that feeling/imbalance/whatever, first thing after waking up, and you and DH need to cut you some slack :)

I'm terrible at waking up. I recently bought this (I've had one before some years ago and loved it).

It's made such a difference as you waken slowly and naturally. Really has transformed my morning. I do still absolutely need my cup of tea, though. We have a tea tray in out room so tea can be taken straight back to bed. It's worth setting the clock for half an hour earlier than you need to get up to give yourself time to humanise.

www.amazon.co.uk/Lumie-Bodyclock-STARTER-Wake-Up-Light/dp/B002TEXEAI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1386863988&sr=8-1&keywords=lumie+bodyclock

Eat something. Have a box of plain biscuits on the beside table and eat one or two the minute you wake up. Some people suffer from low blood-sugars first thing and that can cause irritability. Also consider going to your GP for a general check-up.

I'm a bit the same but tend to be dead silent. Husband just ignores me til I've got two mugs of tea down me. Which, bless him, he makes for me.

If you're a talkative grumpy person in the morning, then yes, keeping clear of husband is the only solution. Were you like this before being preg? if not, then after the pregnancy you might go back to normal hopefully :)

If you were then yes, taking yourself off til you're human again might be the only solution :s