How many of you still buy your Ex's Christmas presents?

[LittleQuark]

I always continued to send birthday and Christmas cards once broken up with my Ex's, as we were amicable.

But once they found new partners I didn't think it was appropriate.

My boyfriend still buys gifts and cards for birthday and Christmas for his last Ex. Nothing too personal, just Body Shop for Christmas, although I don't know what he buys for her birthday. Last Christmas, she bought him a gallery print and an antique enamelled sign or something like that.

They live hundreds of miles for eachother so don't socialise anymore but she does see him when she's in the area, and they text, email and phone occasionally. Although it does seem to be at least once a fortnight.

Does this all sound harmless?

By harmless, I mean, I trust him implicitly, but is buying regular presents for an Ex you rarely see the norm? He says he buys presents for everyone, which is true, although not the Ex with whom he didn't split amicably.

I feel a little under pressure each Christmas to ensure my present is more personal than his Ex's :(

I'd never send a card or a present to an ex. I find that pretty odd.

I did for the kids until he re-married.

ETA

I wouldn't if we didn't have children.

There really is no right or wrong answer to this.

If they really are just friends then why not? However he should still be open and honest with you which it sounds like he is.

It's not like he is buying her a set of lingerie.

However I can still see why it may get to you a bit.

They are not together though and surely if they get on so well and still had the hots for each other they would be?

I do for my DS although he is getting to the age where he can soon do it himself. Then I will just give him some cash to sort it himself and get a card only.

It doesn't hurt to play nice for DS.

I only do it Obo the young DC. Otherwise no way. But then I only buy gifts for an elite group of people

Yeah at the moment I d but we spend Xmas together. That may change down the line though. I'd be more bothered by the fortnightly contact tbh, that seems a bit weird.

I am still very good friends with my ex and we buy each other a fair amount at christmas and brthdays. No part of me wants her back at all.

Hope his helps

They didnt split amicably, so it seems strange to me that they buy each other presents. As if, they want to be in each other's minds and havent quite let go of each other. I do believe thats the way of it when exes keep in contact - although they tend to be in denial about that. Its nothing to do with them being miles apart so not with each other physically. Its an emotional thing. I wouldnt even think of buying my ex a present. Id spend my money on a bigger present for my lovely OH. He's the one I want to think of me.

My mum and dad split 20 years ago after 23 years together. My dad has been married to my step mum for 8 years and the my family including my mum and steppies ALL get together at Christmas. My mum and step mum are friends as are my mum and dad. When mum or dad or step mum have the most serious issues in life to deal with, the other 2 are their as their closest friends and the people they can all rely most on (apart from me of course!). Oh and yes, of course they all get each other Christmas presents.

I'm very lucky to have such an amazingly close family.

Joysmum, that's lovely

My DP buys Christmas presents for his ex, normally vouchers, and little toys for her two younger children (DSD's younger siblings). Ex doesn't buy him anything, but has given our DD the odd wee thing, which is nice.

wow Joysmum - & theyre all each other's closest?! friends/rely on each other in difficult times? Buy each other presents? But, didnt the 'new' partners have close friends before? Id have thought they would have, as adults. I cant imagine getting with someone and then having a close relationship with their ex and her new partner..Id be happy to be civil but not interested in any big friendship meaning regular time spent together, visits, outings, being involved in issues, etc.

I like my ExH's wife, we get on well enough in a hi how are you way (we probably bump into each other every 5 years), but, she isnt my friend. I have my own friends. Both my parents are remarried but even though I get on well with their current partners Id just cringe at the thought of both couples around the table. My mum and dad are on good terms but they dont socialise in a foursome with their partners, or anything like that. Sorry, Im not meaning to sound critical just was surprised by your situation. If it works well for you..cool