Still I. Love with the ex

[feelingalittlestrange]

I had an emotional wobble last night begging my cheating ex to come home why I don't know he is now living with the ow and it is killing me we have docs and I'm not sure if it is just because it's around the holidays that I'm feeling worse but I do miss him and I do still love him arrrggh I am so with myself and him please give me a kick or something I shouldn't want him but I do how do I get rid of these feelings?

Time will get rid of the feelings its hard not to text or call someone your still in love with but your worth more than that delete his number and go no contact do you have children ?

I would love to go no contact but we have two dcs which is what makes it worse

I know you need to have contact when you have dcs i was in the same situation a long time ago now i was very young i did the texting and calling but it just made things worse i then came to my sences and stopped with in a couple of weeks he was the one calling and texting me by then i found the streanth to tell him to do one lol things will get easier op it.l be hard to start with but things will get better

I really do hope so I'm trying my hardest to move on it's been almost 7 months since I found out and I have been talking to someone else but it's damn hard to remove someone from your heart when they were all u wanted.

Can you write a list of all the shitty things?

You will get there op talking to someone else is good though it.l take your mind off the ex hes not worth it if he left you for ow you deserve so much more and you will get it just give it time and look after yourself

If its any help honey you're not the only one, maintaining the NC rule is crucial. Don't beat yourself up, just crack on with your day and let it go. You and the Dc's can have a lovely Xmas snuggled up together , no?

Sheesh!

What is there to love?

As suggested, make a list of the shitty things he's done, including breaking promises, disrespect for the mother of his children, yada, yada.

And buff up your self respect. He's not worthy.

Teeny

I just cannot seem to help myself I have made the lists a hundred times over and it's mostly shitty things he wants to spend Xmas with us and I think that is what has thrown me he wants all the family stuff without the responsibility I know he's shit I know he's done some awful heartbreaking things to me and dcs and when I don't see him I'm fine I could go days without speaking but as soon as I see him I want him back and it's hurts I can't even walk out of his mums house without crying because I'm taking our dcs home on my own.

You need some boundaries.

If his mum wants to see the dc it is up to him to take them and bring them back.

As for Christmas you tell him he cannot come to yours, he must collect the dc and spend time with them and then bring them back to you. (Or you drop off etc).

If things carry on like this you are just going to drive yourself mad.

I know it's hard, dds dad and I had some awful awful rows and difficulties when we first split up ten years ago but we are now civil to each other and we have both gone on to remarry.

You just need to take some control of the situation and remember what an arse he is.

Fairy he barely sees them and I have a good relationship with his mum so I take docs there even if he isn't there and I visit her without them aswell. As for Xmas I don't want them to go to his at all as ow will I'm sure be there and I am just not ready for someone else being around my babies

I understand where you are coming from. The ow thing is awful. Long term you won't really have a say in her being involved unfortunately but for now I do understand how painful it must be, especially at Christmas. Could you tell your ex you have made plans to be elsewhere on Christmas day and ask him to come on Boxing day or to take them out somewhere then?

I had a very close relationship with my ex mil too, so good in fact that I actually moved dd and I 250 miles to be 30 mins away from her because dh was so useless and I trusted his mum more than I did him at the time. However, I am thinking of you and for your own sanity and closure at the moment maybe it might be better if you limit contact a little so you don't feel so involved with him if that makes sense. She can contact him about seeing the dc for now.