How do I convince DH that this is not acceptable?

[Summer96]

DH is abusive to me... Not physically but verbally. He has episodes where he will scream shout and throw things, threaten to break things in the house and will scare the DC. He thinks it's his temper and blame me for setting it off Don't want to leave and worried about external agencies contacting social services if I get in touch

oh yes, the "good dad", please attilathemeerkat, leave, now, plan for your escape asap. my daughter was in an abusive situation, was actually in a "safe house" or so we thought. the abuser found us, guess what my 13 year old grandson told us, as we sat huddled together in fear. "the thing is, if you do what dad says and wants, you won't get any trouble" out of the mouths of babes. they always say, they love the abuser, safer than trying to beat the school playground bully, basically suck up to them, appease them, then you won't get any sh.t yourself. a fine example for them to learn, and yes emulate as adults. NO, you must stop the cycle, NOW. please act and plan your escape now, there is so much practical help and advice these days. move on with your children's lives, wish you well.

Research suggests that children are more harmed by hearing shouting then actually seeing physical violence (i can dig out the paper if need be). Shouting scares children very much.

Sorry, I didn't mean to imply I disagreed with what Lifestory has written. Children do indeed learn by example, particularly with domestic abuse. We learn how to love and be loved by watching our parents. The impact on children is dreadful: children who can't draw pictures because it requires imagination, and they are scared to imagine...children who want to get home as soon as they can, to make sure their mother is OK...impacts on learning...and the fear.