How to handle friend situation?

[Nearlytimeforbaby2]

So- an old school friend moved back to the UK last week after several years abroad. We were emailing in the months preceding her return saying that it would be great to meet up when she was back etc. I sent a welcome home email last Thursday.

Saw on Facebook over the weekend that there was a reunion (whole weekend including 1 night stay) of everyone from school except me. I'm a bit surprised and hurt not to be invited but obviously it's fine- she's perfectly at liberty to see who she likes when she likes etc and I understand that some friendships last better than others.

So now I feel that if she arranges to see me separately it's kind of only because she feels she has to which is awful! No point in that at all. So how do I explain in an email that I don't think we should meet up now because she's only doing it out of duty/ feeling like she has to, without sounding hopelessly teenage about it all? As I say I am fine with it really as friendships grow/ change/ wither/ reappear etc but I don't particularly want a meet up out of duty!

Is it possible she didn't organise the reunion and so didn't purposefully leave you out?

When I had a welcome home party after travelling it was a surprise party so I had no idea.

If not, just tell her what you wrote and that your feelings were hurt. if you aren't going to bother meeting up, technically it doesn't matter what you say!

Sorry you were made to feel pushed out. Hope its a misunderstanding. x

Don't say anything just let her get on with it. Tackle the situation if it arises.

Leave the ball in her court. Don't email, don't text. Just see what happens - if and when she gets in touch I think you'd be fair enough to say you were quite hurt about being left out.

You're being very mature and reasonable about it but that must have really stung - I'm sorry.

As above - she can't 'arrange to meet up with you' without your consent, can she, so there's no need for any kind of bold statement. She may or may not have been involved in organising the 'reunion' - but if she wasn't, and is a thoughtful person, I'd have thought she'd have made contact with you pro-actively afterwards, to make amends. If she contacts you (and TBH I'd be surprised if she does), you have the choice of simply making excuses/gracefully declining, or commenting that you were hurt to be left out of the reunion. Sorry the gloss has gone off what should be a happy time.

Why didn't she think to invite you to the reunion? I'd be hurt x

I also think say nothing for now. Leave her make the move. I would be hurt.

One of my closest friends never calls in anymore an I have her birthday party soon that I feel awkward about attending (general group text) but will. I hate this type of thing.

Thanks all. I should have made it clear that the emails about us meeting up were going on both before and after the reunion. So she has suggested a date. I've replied to the email saying that I am hurt not to have been invited and think it's best if we leave meeting up as I hate the thought of her meeting up with me because she feels she has to.

Best of luck x shame isn't it x hate when things go like this x

Nearlytime, you are legend.

Good for you. At least you are not superficial and are a nice person. Don't even let it cross your mind again. Xx

Maybe she didn't arrange it? If it was all your friends from school, are you not in contact with any of them? Aren't you upset that they didn't mention it to you either?

Is there a chance she wanted a more personal catch up with you? I try to keep some friendship circles separate, it can be to demanding all at once, spreading myself too thin.

I'd literally play it cool. When you meet up maybe mention you saw the photos, ask her if she had a good time? Read the reaction and decide what you want from there on

^^ just seen your post OP. Ignore the above post. Wow, you have certainly set your stall out. Hope you don't regret it.
All the best