Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Was I right to ring the police?

12 replies

queeniefry · 08/12/2013 11:27

A bit of background- ExP and I separated a few months ago, but he was still in our house whilst looking for somewhere else; two DC's.
Last night he went out to see friends but couldn't confirm whether he will be back or stay out all night. At about 10pm I sent him a text asking if he can be expected back, but no reply. I locked up and went to bed. At 2:30am I received a text from him saying that he is planning g on coming back but no time specified. He was asking me to "leave the key outside", but I wasn't gonna just get up at that hour to leave the key out for him! So I went back to sleep. Slept terribly as I kept waiting for a knock on the door to let him in. Then at 7:30am I got a text from him saying that he "cant believe I've done this". That apparently I had my phone switched off and he had to sleep in the car since 4am! Well, my phone was definitely on and there was No knock on the door...
so he turns up at half 7 and heads to bed! Leaving me to sort the DC's etc. At about 9am I told him that he can't just lay there, as the workmen will be here soon (some work is being done in the house) , but he refused to get up and made out as if it's all ok. He then threw a pillow at me and shouted to leave him alone. I told him, he's being unreasonable and I started opening curtains etc. He then stormed up, shouted, pulled me by my arm and scared me to death. The oldest DC witnessed this and started crying. I automatically picked up my phone and dialled for police. This has happened before and I thought I will not tolerate him physically scaring me. The Dc's certainly don't have to see anything of that nature.
He said I was being pathetic, wasting the time of police and left.
Fast forward ... After the police had been around... he gathered his stuff and moved out. He then sent me some vile texts saying that I'm unreasonable... that it's me who needs help!? That I wasted the time of police!And that it's basically all my fault! At no point he acknowledged to have been a dick to scare me and DC's. Or the fact that he was out all night...

I feel sick. I mean, surely I did the right thing to ring the police??

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 08/12/2013 11:29

Of course you were right to call. He assaulted you.

EirikurNoromaour · 08/12/2013 11:30

You did the right thing. Never let him stay in your house again

myroomisatip · 08/12/2013 11:30

Yes absolutely.

That kind of behaviour has escalate really quickly and you have given him a clear message that you won't tolerate it.

Do you think he will try to move back in?

scurryfunge · 08/12/2013 11:31

Did you tell the police about him grabbing you? What action was taken?

VikingLady · 08/12/2013 11:31

You were completely right to call. And you modelled a good example for your DCs on how to deal with abuse!

SirSugar · 08/12/2013 11:32

If he is still living there why doesn't he have a key? - ridiculous fight enabled by both of you

TheCatThatSmiled · 08/12/2013 11:45

Of course you were right. You are not his doorman/housekeeper/mother. He was in considerate and selfish in the first place. And abusive and violent in the 2nd.

Be relived he has gone and ignore and do not respond to his texts.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 08/12/2013 11:48

You did the right thing. Why on earth didn't he have his own key?

honeybunny14 · 08/12/2013 11:55

Why didnt he have a key of his own ?

queeniefry · 08/12/2013 12:10

He didn't have the key as a new door was fitted yesterday. He left before I got the new keys.
Funny enough I've noticed that he's now taken one key with him..
He wasn't arrested as I decided to say that he pushed me out of way instead of grabbing me. This is not considered as an assault, therefore no action (apart from talking to him) was taken.

OP posts:
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 08/12/2013 12:13

ON NO ACCOUNT LET HIM BACK IN. This is your one chance to keep the home for you and your kids. Change the locks ASAP.

queeniefry · 08/12/2013 12:27

Thanks ladies x

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page