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Original poster

How do I tell my aunt I don't want her looking after my son?

23 replies

DaleyBump · 07/12/2013 20:19

Probably in the wrong section but I have no idea where to ask this.

My little boy was born just over a week ago. We don't drive so my aunt picked us up at the hospital. She fitted his car seat wrong (really unsafely, front facing and not strapped in properly) and got really arsey when I (really nicely) refused to let her take him down the road in it. She burst a tin of paint in the car and couldn't get the lid back on and kept saying that she was sure he would be fine because the fumes weren't that bad (I told her I would just get the bus and she got rid of it - not without complaint). On the way home, she kept sending texts while she was driving. When she holds him, instead of rocking him she kind of bounces him really fast and looks at me like I'm stupid when I mention it. She was a registered childminder years ago so I feel really anxious asking her to do anything differently but when I do say something, she doesn't listen. She just doesn't have his safety as her first concern which really bothers me. I have no idea if I'm being totally pfb but I don't care if I am, I don't want her looking after him. The thing is, before he was born I asked her to watch him for a few hours on Christmas eve and she's really looking forward to it. How am I supposed to say that I've changed my mind?

OP posts:

AureliaDarling · 07/12/2013 20:22

Just that you changed your mind. End of.

pancakesfortea · 07/12/2013 20:23

Can you say that you don't feel able to be apart from him yet? And that you just hadn't anticipated that before he was born? Most mums of first borns would be anxious about leaving their baby at that stage so you don't have to make it about your aunt.

Vivacia · 07/12/2013 20:24

Say your plans have changed and thank you, but no thank you for the baby-sitting offer.

MoreSnowPlease · 07/12/2013 20:24

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at poster's request

coffeeandcream · 07/12/2013 20:25

Say that you are still adjusting to motherhood and you are not feeling ready to leave him with anyone yet.

Or become mysteriously I'll on Christmas Eve so you don't feel up to whatever you we're doing... A 24 hour thing mind, so you'll be completely recovered on Christmas Day!

CailinDana · 07/12/2013 20:26

You're his mum. Just say you feel anxious being away from him and you'd rather be close to him on Christmas Eve. Today was the first full day I've ever had away from my dd (second dc) and she's nearly 9 months!

Mrswellyboot · 07/12/2013 20:27

Get in early so you are not worrying about it, text her now and say you aren't going out c eve so you don't need a babysitter

Original poster

DaleyBump · 07/12/2013 20:28

Love the idea of saying I'm not ready to leave him yet. It's a tradition that we (not my aunt) go to a pantomime on Christmas eve and the tickets are all paid for but if she still insists I'll say I'm ill and just won't go.

OP posts:

MortifiedAnyFuckerAdams · 07/12/2013 20:43

Just whack him in a sling and take him along

Original poster

DaleyBump · 07/12/2013 20:44

I was thinking that, I love my sling but will it not be a wee bit loud? He sleeps through anything though.

OP posts:

ferretyfeet · 07/12/2013 21:02

do not leave him with her,she sounds positively lethal. you would never forgive yourself if something happened to him for the sake of going to a pantomime

eddielizzard · 07/12/2013 21:14

i agree with sling. i took my babies to things and they slept through the most unbelievable noise. if he is unsettled, you can leave - still better than leaving him with her. i really wouldn't do it.

ImperialBlether · 07/12/2013 21:19

Has she had her own children?

I wouldn't leave my children that early on anyway - no way! Go to the panto, carry the baby in a sling and if he yells louder than the band, take him out into the foyer.

If you tell your aunt now, she's time to get over it.

ImperialBlether · 07/12/2013 21:21

Has she had her own children?

I wouldn't leave my children that early on anyway - no way! Go to the panto, carry the baby in a sling and if he yells louder than the band, take him out into the foyer.

If you tell your aunt now, she's time to get over it.

redundantandbitter · 07/12/2013 21:27

No to aunt. Yes to sling and panto. Though you may not see much of it... Speaking as someone who has paced about in foyer ... But you'll be happier with baby with you. Very little ones sleep through noise, weirdly. Enjoy!

heidihole · 07/12/2013 21:30

At this age he will sleep thru anything. If he doesn't you can always take him out.

Shellywelly1973 · 07/12/2013 21:32

I would bring him.

I know it probably doesn't feel like it but new born babys are way easier then toddlers.

Jackthebodiless · 07/12/2013 21:32

Your baby. Take control.

theyoniwayisnorthwards · 07/12/2013 22:05

Definitely bring him, they are v portable at that age!

HettySunshine · 07/12/2013 22:23

Hi op, my pfb is 12 weeks now and the only people we will leave her with is my mum and DP's parents and that is rare and only for an hour or so. You are COMPLETELY within your rights to tell your aunt that you are not ready to be apart from your baby and that you are either not going to the panto (in which case she could perhaps have your seat?), or that you are taking your lo with you.

Don't let her bully you or make you feel bad. You are a new mother and there is no stronger feeling. If the worst comes to the worst just tell her to screw off.

Oh and littley will be fine at the panto. They will either sleep,and you can relax and watch it, or cry and you can leave and come home. I hope you manage to get sorted without too much bother x

TreaterAnita · 07/12/2013 22:57

As everyone else has said, you can't bear to leave him while he's so little and so you're either taking him with you or not going out at all. He's your baby and his safety is your responsibility. Don't ever leave him with someone you think wouldn't look after him properly.

Distrustinggirlnow · 08/12/2013 00:36

Just take him. He will be fine. It will be a shame for you to miss it. Your aunt sounds a bit bossy. Take back control. Your not her 'little niece' anymore!

Enjoy the panto, you and DS

Bogeyface · 08/12/2013 00:36

Take him! If he starts to fuss then pop a boob out if you are BF of have a bottle ready if you are FF.

"thanks but I didnt realise how portable babies are, I am really looking forward to taking him with us, his first pantomime!!!"

Big it up about how excited you are to take him and she may not make a fuss. If she does then ignore her!

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