So, the short story is I had an abortion 3 weeks or so ago and have split up with the baby's father because of the whole situation. Last night though we met and ended up in bed.
He has been totally unsupportive and I am not sure why I suggested meeting with him; only that he did not turn up to the clinic appointment, we haven't talked (I have started a work placement and we couldn't meet up, not that he didn't want, not that it matters) and I haven't been able to talk to anyone about it as have had to carry to like normal what with being a single parent and not knowing anyone at work. Incidentally, my work placement is in obstetrics.
I have had 3 assignments to submit in the last two weeks and generally have not handled the whole situation well because I have not had a moment to think about an process what has happened.
I miss my XDP despite everything but realise I might be missing the relationship rather than him per se and the last month has just been a total nightmare. I'm not eating or sleeping well and just feel extremely fragile and lost.
I am posting here to offload and don't expect any answers. I am sure that time and space will help but i'm going out tonight with my girlfriends and can see myself having a couple of drinks and being the emotional wreck crying in the toilets.
Life is shit sometimes and I seem to make one bad decision after another.