Booty call, or not?

[Whatwasthis]

I have been texting an old boyfriend, quite a lot recently.
Some sexual talk, some casual.

He works nightshift, and came over last night and well, you know what happened!

He stayed for a couple of hours after. Talking to me about work and things, and playing with my cat.

He text first thing this morning saying how tired he was.
I didnt mention anything of last night, and we ended up texting about a film we both liked.

I wish i did mention something! Even saying "had a great night" but dont want to seem cheesy.

I dont know if this was just a one night stand, or not. I would like to take things further, but do not have any idea what to do next!!

We split up just out of immaturity really. Nothing bad, we have got along since. That was a good few year ago.

Any help would be great, please.

How often would you normally text him or see him?

What kind of person is he? Does he have a string of girlfriends? Is he a romantic? Did he make the effort to see you before?

I see him a couple of times a week. The texting has gradually increased to daily. But i have heard from him today. Nothing unusual on seeing/texting.

He has been single since we split. Maybe casual sex (i dont know), but definitely no girlfriends.
He is a nice, caring person. He is romantic too.
I know there is a chance he is wondering the exact same as i am.

Its just so hard as i have never really got over him. Although, at times i thought i had. Timing and circumstances were always there.

I am hoping this is an indication that we are both ready now. I know i am. But i dont know about him! I dont want to ask or anything as i dont want to ruin what we have now.

So before this happened, were you thinking of him in this light?

Why don't you send him a text just about something in general - just a getting in touch text. "Hi, how are you?" kind of thing.

Oh yes. Thats the only reason i slept with him.

I am hoping he texts me later. I wish i had the courage to txt him. Im just terrified incase he was just after sex, and twigs on that i wanted more. If that makes sense

Pathetic, i know!

Oh for goodness sake just text him back will you. I'm about to get off the train and I need to know what he says before I loose wifi

Text him saying .....

"I really enjoyed last night xxx"

See what he says

Ahhhhhhhh i did! He text back sayong "howling proper perve" haha
Bastard...im still no further forward

He will be loving this! Well, at least he knows now. He will sit and play around with the idea before he gives me any further info!

The penis! This is his humour, but should i take that as a not interested? This is worse than before i sent the text

I don't understand!

What did you say in your text? What did he mean by "howling proper perve"?

And, if you'll excuse the turn of phrase, where does the penis come in?

Oh good, I thought it was just me. Please tell me you didn't use Balloon's suggested text?!

I said i really enjoyed last night. He is saying howling peoper perve, because hes laughing that i enjoyed it and now mentioning it.

This is something he would say, and do, in a jokey way. Just leaves me feeling no further forward.
But, it could also be him not knowing if i was just interested in the sex!

Oh man!
Oh i dont know

Hmmm I liked him before, but I've gone off him now!

I know! Im feeling bad about it now!

Arghh! After that response now none of us are sure what it all means!!

Can you not just ring him up?

Send him a message saying "Half of MN think you're a dick at the moment - there's only one way to redeem yourself"!

I think he is just messing about. After telling him i was stupid - meaning about last night - didnt tell him that bit though, surely he would know.

He agreed with me. Then i told him hes beig a dick. Now hes asking why i think im stupid.

He can sit on that and think about it himself! I feel a big enough fool as it is. Am i hell explaining further.

Im sure if he is interested he will realise and grovel! I hope ha

Reading the texts back. He looks innocent and i look like im having some kind of bitch fit over a joke!
Haha ...if he is joking, that is!

For heaven's sake - his intentions will not become clear in how he acts - you'll read all sorts into whatever he says and does and drive yourself mad.

Do you want to be with him?
Yes.

Do you want FWB?
No.

Do you want to ruin existing friendship if he doesn't want to get back together, by asking him?
Well, no, but - things have changed now not so much cos you slept with him but because you want more.

Stop messing about and driving yourself mad!
Speaking's better, but if you have to text:
"I enjoyed last night. I'd like us to get back together and try again. I'm not interested in a casual sexual relationship, though if you don't want to try again together, I value your friendship and would like to maintain what we're had up til now".

Haha you are so right. Thank you for that. Knocked some sense into me!! I will have a talk with him next time i see him. In the meantime, i will stop being overly sensitive to the txts. They are impossible to read!

I don't think this text exchange is destined to be the stuff of great literature - Jane Austen is not spinning in her grave tonight

I honestly couldn't be arsed with someone texting me 'I'm stupid'. Either just say what you mean or sod off, would be my reaction.

Please please just stop the guessing game in text - I don't like his response to your perfectly reasonable comment that you enjoyed last night, but the last thing you want to do is come across as a needy girlfriend-wannabe trying to pick a fight via SMS.

Thanks everyone. I continued along with joking and all seems good

And pp that is the last thing i want to appear as. I never should have sent that first txt and just let things play out naturally.
Off to bed now.

Will see how things go over the next few days