first time posting but have read many posts and replies and hope someone can hold my hand for a while
DP of 16 years started down the mental abuse road in april, we had brought a house 8 months prior so let it go over my head as I thought the stress of gutting it and his work were to blame. One night down the pub someone told me a woman who has been married 3 times and has had a number of affairs was sniffing round my DP, totally dismissed it as he also knew of her bad name and I trusted him 100% because he is just so nice. told him my concerns about her to which he replied "I wouldn't go near that, she takes every bloke for what she can get then moves onto the next". Another 2 months of mental abuse and then her husband who she had split with messages me to say my DP and her had been meeting up in a woodland carpark (classy), asked DP about it and he said she was in a bad place and needed someone to talk to as she has no girlfriends, I fell for it as he is (was) a nice bloke but told him to stop, which he said he would.
His car then gets spray painted all over with the words c**t, I had a friend that had a fluid to get it off and spent 2 hours helping DP to rid it, asked who would do such a thing and he said OW husband thinks they are having an affair which they are not...again believed him. Every time I mentioned OW or her husband the abuse got worse, sat him down one night and asked why he was so horrid to me, he then said he thought he was having a breakdown. We then thought the best thing was for me to move out for a few weeks as walls were being removed in the house, so I did with the 2 dogs (no children), I spent a lot of time going back to our house though, one Friday I said I would be round and he said no as he was doing diy....but I did.
There she was sat on the sofa with a glass of wine and all he could say was "about time you 2 met" WTF....I asked if they were having an affair and he said nothing but she said with a smile on her face "shut up and go away, he has made his choice and its not to be with you" only reason I didn't slap her one was because she was sat next to my prized marine tank. She sat there while I was asking him questions and didn't move, he gave me no answers and still have none today. I still go round the house most days as I have a couple of hours between work and its easier, but she leaves little trinkets of hers for me to find...hair in the shower, her toothbrush left on sink, hairgrips on the sofa etc he tries to clear all evidence but she is a pro at this.
Fast forward to today, I am in a rented house that I am paying for out my savings that was meant for work on the house, the rent is more than I earn as my work is part time because of our dogs. DP has said he will buy me out of the house but will only give me the £50,000 I put in plus £10,000 compensation...hell no..i am on the deeds as joint owner, the house is worth £350,000+ and he has another house that he rents out, our mortgage is only £50,000. He has said he will see me in court and he will never sell.....trouble is I see past all the bad points and just remember our good times before april...I was a very strong woman (12 years in the forces helped) and am now just a mess.
am going to sound weak but I still love him..alot more has happened but have just put the basics