The war begins.

[lovemenot]

I moved into the spare room yesterday and this morning I sat down with him and told him we need to separate. I said I'm not happy and I doubted he was and that this was not a good place for dd. He told me I could continue making my little plans as they made me happy but that he was not going to engage.

I stayed perfectly calm and told him we would need to have a discussion about what to do next, whether we sell the house....... He said "why would I want to sell MY house?", I said "our house". So he called me a selfish bitch (several times) who was prepared to destroy dd's life to get what I wanted. I didn't rise to that and said if he didn't want to discuss it, then we would have to go to court and let a judge decide. He said "oh yeah, off you go to the "women's" court, I knew you were planning this but don't worry, I'm ready."

So I simply left the room at that point, as he continued to mutter that he'd never met such a selfish bitch in all his life.

It's not going to be pretty, that's for sure :-(

Looks like you should get thee to a solicitor pdq!

Just to cover your back, because if he's "ready", then he may have pre-emptied you on that front.

Teeny

Clearly not. But look on the bright side: you won't be wondering too much whether you're doing the right thing no longer making a life with this unpleasant person.

Definitely get legal advice. This seems to have all come as a big shock to him even though you describe everyone as unhappy. Is his reaction unusually angry - a one-off - or is this part of the reason why you're separating in the first place? From the small amount you've written he's clearly not going to cooperate and will probably go out of his way to make you as miserable as possible. The usual advice is to stay put but, if you don't want to have to put up with this backlash, it may be a good idea to find somewhere temporary for you and DD to stay until the divorce is finalised and you get a financial settlement

His reaction is par for the course. His reaction was quite controlled, not angry. Angry is when he calls me a frigid, gold digging, fucking bitch at the top of his voice. His complete refusal to ever apologise for any venom he throws at me, his inability to emote, his complete and utter lack of empathy are the reasons I can no longer live with him. He is starting to break me and I need to get out before I'm broken.

My finances are quite limited and I've never had access to family money, so I think I'm stuck here for a while.

But I do have a good solicitor on standby.

I'm strangely very calm right now. Usually I'm a quivering mess after any confrontation with him.

If you have fallen out of love with him, that on its own is sufficient reason to call it a day. I have sympathy for the partner who is left in that situation but he can't expect you to muddle along for years living a lie. What kind of lessons would that teach DD?

For her sake I hope he's going to rethink and swallow his pride and enter mediation to make arrangements.

Unless there's a threat of abuse stay put, get legal advice, brace yourself.

Check with your solicitor, or an unbiased source. If he's withholding money from you, it's financial abuse.
You could possibly apply for legal aid.

Not to mention the emotional abuse.

I was still fumbling typing my post when you posted. He sounds worse than I realised from your earlier post.

Do you have family you could go to with DD if the need arose?