What you want to hear?

[Everycloudhasasilverlining]

Just wondered if anyone has much experience with solicitors - do they just tell you what you want to hear? If there are things that collide with your interests do they just gloss over these and concentrate on your interests?? I don't know, I am getting a bit confused with it all and just wondered if anyone could offer advice, thank you :)

Ideally, no. And looking out for the client's best interests is right there in Practise Rule 1 (or it was when I passed finals, which is a long time ago and I quit the profession ten years ago), so if there's a problem with securing your best interests your solicitor should be looking for ways to solve that.

This isn't to say there aren't some utter monkeys out there with practising certificates, but even they will give you the best advice they can by their rather dim lights before they just blow smoke up your arse.

It took me three attempts to find the right solicitor for me. The first ones knew their job okay but I did not feel that they had any empathy or sympathy or that they understood.

When I got the right one she was brilliant and my divorce went through really smoothly.

If you are looking for reassurance on something specific why not go and have a chat with the CAB?

My interests lie in what's best for the children and all I am being told and advised is based on this, his team however seem to have little concern for the children, it's all about money:( probably doesn't make much sense but it just seems we are both coming from completely different views

Not knowing your exact circumstances, money can be an important factor for the children particularly if you have them most of the time.
It has implications on their standards of living.

Or are you also locked in a custody dispute and they are not giving it enough attention?

It's the house, I am being told by his solicitors I have no rights over it and should just go away quietly and sort myself and children out with a home, my solicitor argues that it's the children's h

Home - sorry! That's it in a nutshell

If you are married it is utter bullshit that you have no rights over the home!

If you aren't happy or comfortable with your solicitor then try a new one as otherwise suggested and/or get some independent advice from CAB or where they can signpost you to.

Thank you:) I am happy with solicitor, just think I am letting it get to me too much, I believe I am in the right, it's just the stuff that comes from his solicitors is the opposite of mine. It will work itself out, thank you for the replies:)

Don't listen to his solicitors - they are looking out for his interests (which seem to be money), not yours or the children's. If it went to court, the starting point would be that you own the house 50/50 and you may get more depending on your financial circumstances and if the children live mainly with you, and you might be able to stay in the house until children are 18 and only then sell and you each get your share. And that's whether or not the house is in your name as well as his. They are just trying to intimidate you. Listen to your solicitors, not his.

If you leave the house he gets the leverage, if you refuse he will need to fight you and you will most certainly get more than the nothing he is currently suggesting you have a right to.

I left with the children because he basicly made life really unpleasant and finally was violent:( he is just being very unpleasant and that's coming through solicitors too, I just feel a bit overwhelmed by it all:( thank you for replies:)

well don't worry about it.

Ignore the letters telling you not to fight for what is rightfully yours and the children's.

Ex wanted me to do the same and on top of that he wanted me to pay him more money and sell my house. Oh how we laughed.

If he has been violent have you reported it in any way? Unfortunately necessary for legal aid also so you can get an occupation and non-molestation order.

I'm in the same boat OP. Seeing my solicitor on Friday but I have the same concerns as you.
He wants to keep the house, all the property and have the children 3.5 (do they 'do' half days?!) days a week so he doesn't have to pay any maintenance. I get to keep all the debts.

Thank you, your replies have made me see a bit clearer-I can get a bit caught up in it all and scared so I can't see the wood for the trees, the letters do scare me but it makes sense that it's what they are trying to do:(

Everycloud when I first started getting solicitor letters they used to frighten e and really upset me.

My solicitor told me it was all bluster and they had nothing so they were trying to scare me, turned out he was right.

Good luck, I hope it goes well for you and your children.