Thought I'd escaped all this

[maparole]

I've been separated quite a short time and yesterday I realised that I didn't have the log book for my car, so had to go to the ex's place to find it.

So, the second I got there, without even saying hello or anything, he starts up with "It's not here, why would it be here?"
I said that it wasn't in the car where it would normally be, and did he remember that he needed it a few months ago and brought it into the house:
"No, I don't remember that at all; I've never seen the fucking thing in my life" (always his standard response whenever anything is mislaid)
"Well, could you perhaps help me to look for it?"
"No I can't; I'm busy. Why are you coming in here throwing accusations about? You really are an absolute fucking cow, you know that, don't you? What a fucking witch. If you've lost the fucking thing, you find it ..."

and on and on and on.

I found it without much trouble (he still maintained he had never ever clapped eys on it before) and left without another word, but he carried on with this torrent of abuse almost non-stop.

It shouldn't really bother me any more but I was quite teary all through the evening and still feel upset this morning. I think it's more shock than anything else, though: his behviour is so insane and so far away from normal and really quite scary.

I so wish I could never ever see him again and forget all about him.

Do you have DC together? Is there any need for you to ever see him again?

Here's my positive spin on it: he has just confirmed why he is an ex. His shitty behaviour is confirmation that you made a wise, healthy, and excellent decision when you chose to leave him. So go you!

probably not wise, but I'd have been tempted to say "dear me, what a good reminder of why I dumped you. Do try and sort out your problems dear, they make you so unattractive"

what a tosspot.

I think, if you've had some time away from him, you've relaxed and become used to living in a calm environment. When you lived with him you probably got used to that kind of treatment, were half-expecting it and thought it wasn't affecting you so much..... de-sensitised. Now, being exposed to his appalling behaviour from a cold start, it's hitting you just how bad it really was.

You can set things up so you don't have to see him again.

You're teary and upset because he assaulted you emotionally and verbally, don't under estimate how damaging that it. I get horrendous migraines that last for days if I have to deal with my ex, I actually got a twinge just typing that!

He sounds like an utter tool!

Unfortunately, he is the father of my wonderful ds, so some continued contact will be necessary.

I don't think it will upset me so much in the future, though; as said by cogito, I think it was mostly shock because I had sort of forgotten what he can be like. He wouldn't be like that with ds there anyway.

Many thanks for the lovely support

If you continue contact btw... do stand up to him. Just because you have history together, it's no excuse for his behaviour. Just because he's been 'like that' in the past, it's not acceptable for him to be the same in the future. Apply to this man exactly the same standards of behaviour as you would apply to anyone else. If a stranger spoke to you that way, what would you do for example? If it's 'call the police'... make that call.