Mil disappointed with girl during pregnancy

[Blahhhhh]

Hello all
To set a background have been married a couple of months and am currently 23 weeks pregnant. I live quite a way from mil but have always got along with her very well until the other day :(
Firstly she has done so much for me that I was genuinely shocked at her reaction. Probably why it has a affected me so much?
Anyway the other day DH and I found out the sex of our baby. It wasn't picked up in a normal scan so we paid for a private scan. I wasn't bothered either way of sex but DH is very excited and wanted to. But wouldn't keep it to himself if we did. So against my better judgement (and to make DH happy and feel more involved) went. And overjoyed that we're having a gorgeous girl. And DH was too. Can't wait to hold his little girl.
So went and saw his mum and told her. And the first thing she says 'oh doesn't matter' wtf! Then proceeded to say a lot of backward stuff about how people may say things etc so leave it a while before telling anyone. The 'atleast everything else is ok' DH told her there's no problems with a girl and for her to shut up basically.
Since them I've been so upset. Kinda just wanted her to be happy and not have to get used to the idea of a baby girl. It's ridiculous. Spoke to DH and apparently my feelings are stupid. I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about it as I don't want friends etc to think bad of her as she has been amazing up until now. So currently in spare room. Have slept a little but feeling upset that my feelings are stupid.
Ltb is not an option as I don't want to but how do I deal with this?

Said not is lol

I know what you mean Blahh. I have three boys and I didn't bother to find out the sex with the first two but with the third one the pressure/expectation to produce a girl was so strong that I wanted to get everyone used to the idea of a 3rd lovely boy, so they didn't seem disappointed in him when he arrived, because that would have really upset me. I wanted people to look forward to meeting the little boy that was going to be a part of all our lives and not all look at him and go 'oh dear, never mind. He'll have to do I suppose.'

But there was no cultural pressure on me to produce one sex or the other, just a general societal pressure to produce at least one of each. No baby of mine was going to be a second rate consolation prize.

But you can't stop people having the notion of an 'ideal' family so just try to keep it in perspective. To be honest, if she's great with her step DGD then I'm sure she'll be great with this one too. All babies are a blessing she (and your husband) will love her no matter what.

It's shocking how many people have such awful attitudes.

I watch an American couple on YouTube who have a baby girl and recently found out they are expecting twin girls. The gender reveal video went up, and the comments section was just revolting - people were commiserating with them, and wishing them the best of luck with the next pregnancy.

And most of them seemed to be teenage girls! They must be absorbing so much misogyny, to have firmly internalized the message that a boy is the jackpot, and a girl is the consolation prize.

Oh, and when an Irish YT couple found out they were expecting a boy their reactions were so joyful and emotional - so different to the muted reactions when they found out their firstborn was a girl. It's a fucked up world!

"Spoke to DH and apparently my feelings are stupid...." You need to address this OP. How dare he tell you your feelings are stupid when you are reacting to bloody hurtful comments made by his nasty mother.
Also, how would having a boy make things "easier" for you?

If it's any consolation my grandma's reaction to my brother's impending birth was the same. When she found out it was a boy (he'd already been born!) she said something like "oh well, never mind!"

But when it came to living our lives with her, he was QUITE CLEARLY the favoured one and she virtually ignored my existence.

In other words, she will probably change her mind when baby arrives, should it matter to you what she thinks.

So DH thought I wanted to be left alone. Which I kinda did tbh. So he knows me well. We spoke and on the same page. He told me what he and his mum spoke about and she does feel bad. Will see her on the weekend and just be normal. No point dragging this out.
It's annoying how favouritism can occur and that women get it rather than the man (even though sperm determines sex!) from reading posts it's amazing how that initial favouritism can change over time! Also didn't think it was so common. Thought it was limited to the asian community (naively)