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Relationships

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Original poster

Your take on this text message please

47 replies

Daisycat22 · 04/12/2013 21:40

So I get chatting to a guy on an internet dating site, communicating via email, text and over the phone.

He's very polite, seems mature etc. so I was happy to meet up with him.

When we meet he is still very nice, polite, not leering, sexual or anything like that and seems to genuinely want a relationship (we met twice for drinks/dinner)

We arrange to meet for the 3rd time and he said he would cook dinner, so we text the day before finalising arrangements and we end on what time I would meet him.

Fast forward later that night and I receive a text message from him at 11:30pm just saying "Bring your sexy self"

I immediately think that's odd he's never been like that with me and its just so random about 1 minute later he send another message saying "tomorrow and I hope you have had a good night...hope the first text wasn't too much...good night"

I send one back saying was that first message meant for me and he says "thought you might think that which is why I apologised...I was thinking of you in anticipation of tomorrow, so yes it was meant for you"

I didn't see him as my instinct tells me that doesn't seem right, what do you think?

P.S He took himself off the dating website before we met up (if that makes any difference)

OP posts:

NoAddedSuga · 04/12/2013 22:18

I dont think it sounds like it was for you

However give him the benefit of the doubt.

Keep your heart very close to you, see how it goes, if he turns out to be a player, so be it, at least as you like him alot you gave him a shot

LEMisafucker · 04/12/2013 22:19

The only way i can think that it was meant for you is if you asked him what to bring - so sorry, i think it was meant for someone else :(

Upcycled · 04/12/2013 22:22

What are you going to do, re: next date?

Fairenuff · 04/12/2013 22:22

If he was 'thinking of you in anticipation of seeing you tomorrow' would he text 'Bring your sexy self tomorrow and I hope you have a good night'?

No, that is just clumsy. He would say something like 'Can't wait to see you tomorrow sexy, will be dreaming of you, night' or something that actually makes sense.

Original poster

Daisycat22 · 04/12/2013 22:33

I have to agree that it really doesn't sound like it was for me, it's clearly a response to another message (not from me!)

He's sent me a long message basically saying sorry for sending that , it was inappropriate, it was meant for me etc.

I don't think I will be seeing him again, I'm someone who is easily put off people and I know I won't be able to look past whats happened.

Shame...I thought he was really nice and would put a stop to my man drought! (been single for 4 years!)

OP posts:

Upcycled · 04/12/2013 22:36

Lucky scape I say.

Are you going to txt him and say you are not coming or just don't turn up at all?

Better being picky than settle for less than perfect

Ifcatshadthumbs · 04/12/2013 22:37

Tbh I could possibly forgive him the text message being for someone else as it is rather early days yet BUT the lying about it (and continuing to do so by the sounds of it) would really turn me off.

waltermittymissus · 04/12/2013 22:38

But, but hang on!

Did you have a chat about exclusivity?

He might not be a total cock!

If you're thinking of letting him go anyway why not tell him that you know it wasn't for you so stop pretending and start having a real conversation?

stickysausages · 04/12/2013 22:45

Agree with the above, it was meant for someone else... and that it's the 3rd date, he's expecting sex.

MyChildDoesntNeedSleep · 04/12/2013 22:46

Don't you think the 'hope you have had a good night' bit was a bit strange? When was the last night you had had with him?

Original poster

Daisycat22 · 04/12/2013 22:47

I sent him a message that I wouldn't be coming for dinner now.

Ifcatshadthumbs... agree it's early days and we're not really serious but it was obviously not for me so a bit of honesty would have been good.

waltermittymissus I will do that I'll call him tomorrow for a chat and I'll tell him that he should have been honest about it

OP posts:

bluebirdwsm · 04/12/2013 22:47

Cooking for you on the third date, therefore going to his place? I think it was lucky you saw the text, and have decided not to bother.

It's obviously his method, tried and tested over and over by the sound of it. Not very original, and he's getting a bit careless...

I'm often astounded at how easily players can operate, they really have it on a plate these days. A couple of e mails, a few texts, a meet up or two being well behaved....then the female walks straight in the door. Too trusting.

[I know of a couple of cases [similar scenarios, went to the guys home] where the outcome wasn't pleasant, which is why I seem cynical/wary]

waltermittymissus · 04/12/2013 22:53

I think that's a good idea daisy and I agree, the lying is the real problem. Good luck!

stillcryinginside · 05/12/2013 07:56

I wouldn't have a problem with the text 'just bring your sexy self' I'd be quite flattered actually but sadly I don't honestly think you were the intended recipient and his apology was a cover ... Sorry OP :-(

Fairenuff · 05/12/2013 08:23

What did he say when you cancelled the date?

flippingebay · 05/12/2013 08:44

If it feels wrong now then it will probably be wrong in a few months. You did the best thing by cancelling IMO

If the text was for you it didn't feel natural, I'm not sure it was though. Either way it feels odd

OldBagWantsNewBag · 05/12/2013 08:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lazyjaney · 05/12/2013 09:04

Third date, cooking for you at his place....what did you think he wanted you to bring - a nice apple crumble?

IMO you are totally over thinking this.

niceupthedance · 05/12/2013 09:45

It wouldn't bother me if the relationship wasn't exclusive at that point but I agree with the pp that 'third date, dinner and a shag' is clearly his MO.

Anyway seems you know what you want in a potential partner and it is not him so... Next!

ZombieMojaveWonderer · 05/12/2013 10:00

Definitely meant for someone else I'm afraid.

merrymouse · 05/12/2013 10:08

I'd be more upset if I were the intended recipient of the 'bring your sexy self' text didnt realise that he was still out there prospecting for new partners.

Sounds like a lucky escape.

merrymouse · 05/12/2013 10:09

'and didn't realise'

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