Have you managed to go from heavy drinker to moderate drinker or...

[astyinmyeye]

it is impossible to find a middle ground once you have admitted to yourself you drink too much, that you are a problem drinker and the only way is abstinence ?

Up until 3 months ago, I was drinking too much, every day then I have stopped and it was not too hard to stop. 2 weeks ago, I had a night out and I drank, not a lot but I still drank. I don't feel too bad, don't make a bit deal about it but I can't help thinking a lot about it and feeling confused, and feeling not so sure anymore about abstinence.

I hope I make sense.

I found it impossible. I would sometimes say right, that's it I am not drinking for a month and found it easy enough to do, but then I would go right back into heavy drinking.

I stopped cold turkey when I got pregnant with ds1 and haven't had a drop since. Almost 9 years.

It's easier to not drink at all and not be in turmoil as I'm right now isn't it ? Before that night out, I was not wondering and doubting myself but now I'm wondering and if I could drink moderately when I go out and total abstinence at home, I do go out once a month or sometimes not at all. Alcohol is such a bitch, always finding a way to trick even when you are not drinking :-/

I was a problem drinker for many years, seven nights a week and never stopping til I was pissed. Part of the problem was it was never a problem - I'm a very amiable drunk who could afford my habit and it never affected my life or that of my loved ones, but I realised I wanted to change and so went cold turkey. Now I find it easier to abstain but I'm also aware that if I drink it'll be to get drunk (not falling down incoherent drunk but definitely under the influence) and so I build drinking into my lifestyle and allow myself two nights a week when I drink. Life's too short not to do things you enjoy but I find that by planning when to drink and when not to it doesn't become a habit again and I don't feel guilty when I do it.

Yes, it's quite possible to go to being a moderate drinker. You just need to understand that you are in control, and not the drink. When you realise you become a nicer, more loveable human being when not drinking so much, it spurs you on.

Yes I was an alcoholic I can now enjoy a drink or two but to be honest it turns my stomach I also know not to touch vodka or gin as they were my drinks? And I find it hard to stop if I drink them so it's understanding what works and if you know you can't stop don't drink

Sorry Tilpil, but nobody 'was' an alcoholic.

I just don't want to have it anymore every day, just for occasion I guess...no envy to get hammered :-)

I gave up drinking many times, for a few weeks or a couple of months at a time but I always found that my moderate drinking drifted back to heavy drinking.

I gave up completely about 3 years ago, with the help of the brave babes thread on MN. It is great not to have to make any decisions anymore, and not to suffer the self doubt and being mad at myself if I went over the 'moderate' threshold.

I recommend abstinence for bodily and mental health all the way.

It is perfectly possible. Do a bit of googling and you should find lots of help and advice.
Some people will wail and howl and peddle the 12-step stuff at you, but the thing with AA and all the rest of it is that abstinence programmes have a massive failure rate, and are based on superstition not science. Yes, they 'work' for some people, but the reason they 'work' is that those people have reached a point where they themselves find abstinence preferable.

Have a look at 'Moderation Management'.
(I am on phone and can't link)
I second what SGB says about 12 Step programmes. Google 'the effectiveness of AA/12 Step programmes.
Good Luck.

Well modern toss I have a friend who is/was an alcoholic and she can now have the odd drink at a special occasion. If it makes tilpil happy to say she was a alcoholic then what business is it of yours? If that's how he copes with a problem she has/had then good for her.