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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My Ex Refuses to Let me Buy Him Out

9 replies

pigloo22 · 03/12/2013 23:29

I am getting a divorce and he is bitter. We have 2 little boys. I have been to a mortgage advisor and I can raise the equity to buy him out but he says I cannot. That he refuses to take his name off the mortgage and that I will have to sell. This is the kids home, we live in one of the cheapest houses in the school catchment so I cannot move sell and relocate in the area. I need to stay in the house and have agreed to buy him out. What are my rights here? Can he stop me from buying him out? Why would he want to stay on the mortgage if it stops him from moving forward and getting the equity he needs to buy another place?

OP posts:
skyeskyeskye · 04/12/2013 00:20

You need to get good legal advice, and get this decided by a court if he won't agree. A lot of ex's would jump at your offer because they want the money to move on and sometimes it ends up tied up in the family home until the youngest is 18yo.

The court expects you to attend mediation before going to court so you should be able to talk it through with the help of trained advisors.

The court would decide on who gets what and how. I don't know if they can make him sign it I we but he will end up shooting himself in the foot if he has to wait years for the money if you are allowed to stay there without selling or buying him out. Twat.

FiftyShadesofGreyMatter · 04/12/2013 03:15

Just tell him you'll stay in the house until the youngest is 18, that might make him sign!

jayho · 04/12/2013 07:15

My ex did this, he ended up being ordered to give me the whole value of the house in cash so I could buy a similar property in the same area for our two children (I was sahm so no mortgage option). He's now having to sell for a loss because he can't afford the enormous mortgage he took out.

Goto mediation and if you get nowhere, court. The court's focus will be on housing the children not your ex twat.

VodkaJelly · 04/12/2013 07:31

If it goes to court and your ex still refuses to sign and the judgement goes in your favour the judge can actually sign the paperwork in place of him.

Beware, going to court is a costly option but you can make a claim for your ex to pay all your fees being as he is the one being stubborn

Original poster
pigloo22 · 04/12/2013 07:38

Thanks. I am off to the solicitor today. He also has a pension that he will not provide the Cash Equity on Transfer Value to me so we can negotiate over this. I shall report back to you on what the solicitor says. I DO NOT want to go to court over this and keep reiterating this to him. Fingers crossed he wakes up sooner rather than later and settles with me and a mediator. He has not paid the mortgage for 8 months now as well so he is weakening his case all the time.

OP posts:
MissMarplesBloomers · 04/12/2013 07:53

The CETV is required to finalise the financial reckoning up he HAS to provide it.

A few stern solicitors letters pointing out legalities should shake him up.

Original poster
pigloo22 · 04/12/2013 08:21

Yep, exactly. And sad as I really don't want to fork out for what is blinking common sense!!!

OP posts:
chezney · 25/04/2018 18:29

My husband left me almost 3 years ago for someone else. Sadly for him it didn’t work out. During the past three years I have paid the mortgage on our jointly owned property with no support from him at all. I’ve also renovated the property (decor only). A home I’m proud of. We have a 12 year old son who lives with me full time and he pays maintenance for him on a weekly basis. After a recent health scare I realise I need to get things moving with regards to the house and a divorce. I’d hoped he’d divorce me but I can only assume he doesn’t have the money. I’m aware of debt problems he has since he left. (Bailiffs letters etc). I’m now in a much better position to buy him out of our jointly owned property. However he refuses to do this. He says I can live there until I die. Then he will move in. And once he dies. The assets will go to the children. ( I have two older children from a previous marriage). The truth of it is he wants us to get back together. I’ve told him that this will never happen. Is there anything I can do to secure mine and my children’s future. I just want to live my life without having him tied to me financially

OnTheRise · 25/04/2018 19:12

ZOMBIE THREAD ARISE!

(Chezney, you'd be better off starting your own thread if you want to ask for help. Good luck.)

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