Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

Not over him

3 replies

mummytasha11 · 03/12/2013 16:34

Me and ex partner split up in march. We were together for 9 years 1 ds and due to get married in August. Since we split we have been back and forth one of us not wanting to let the other go and when he wanted to get back together I didn't want to and now I do he doesn't want to, etc.

We spoke on Sunday after being in contact daily for the past few weeks just trivial things and Sunday night I asked him how he was feeling and basically said I wanted to give it another go and he told me he is seeing someone else and it is serious - the last time we had a conversation was September so 2 months ago! And he is serious?

I'm really upset and confused and haven't really been able to sleep...I wish I could get past this but I'm really struggling to move on.

I have had attention from other men but I.cannot allow it to go any further because I'm still in love with my ex

Advice please... If I need harsh words go for it

OP posts:

akawisey · 03/12/2013 17:12

If you've been back and forth since the split you've never really split up in the final sense of the word. It doesn't sound like either of you have given yourselves the opportunity to grieve the relationship nor come to terms with why you don't work as a couple any more (and I don't know the history which might be very pertinent to why you're not together).

Given that, I think he is probably on the rebound and it's unlikely that it will last. But leave him to it. He may not see it that way but that's his business really. If you still love him but he's met someone else now is your chance to grieve and move on.

Original poster

mummytasha11 · 03/12/2013 19:06

He cheated on me when I was pregnant which I moved past and gave him another chance and then he just said he wanted to be single and wouldn't get married after 9 years.

OP posts:

akawisey · 03/12/2013 19:19

Well don't torture yourself any more. IME it's over when you know in your head they're not right for you AND there's that awful but necessary emotional 'knowing' that there's simply nothing left to say, or do, that can change anything.

It's an awful time of the year for this to happen, I feel for you and your DS, but now is the time to focus on you. You gave it your very best shot and you can be proud that you stayed and tried. But let it go now.

Flip