Brief background:
1 child, over age of 6.
ExH left us in my home country (Hague convention country) several years ago.
ExH now lives in another country (Hague convention country)
ExH refuses to visit child here.
ExH insists only way seeing child is either putting child on plane or allowing ExH to come here and taking child away for a week.
ExH had telephone contact up until earlier this year.
Now ExH has e-mail contact - my choice.
ExH has done these things in the past that resulted in me insisting on E-mail only
ExH closed his e-mail account so we could only communicate via phone
Made accusations of me not allowing child to tell him via phone what child wants for Christmas/birthdays
Has gotten annoyed at child when child hasn't heard him properly/misunderstood what he is saying and told child that child is very rude
Has told child there is not need to talk if they don't' feel like it and then accused me of stopping child from talking
Has refused to call on time demanding a 30 minute calling window
Has called unexpectedly and then got angry at me for child not being available and gotten verbally aggressive with me, made fun of me to whomever was in the room with him and told me I need to shut my fucking mouth
Has told child he is going on a family holiday with his step children to a place he knows child would be desperate to go to and subsequently sent a brochure from the place as a "Christmas present"
Has asked for more time, been offered calling every single day, has come to an arrangement for less than every day but for just 5 minutes at bed time and then has gotten angry when I've said we need to change the arrangement because he's insisting on extending calling from 5 to 10 to 25 to 20 minutes (and sometimes calling late too) and accused me of being controlling and alienating him from child
Has been annoyed when telephone conversation isn't going the way he wants it to go and has then said to child that since he can't be bothered to talk to him he's only going to call once a week form now on (child was upset, didn't know they had done anything wrong) and then subsequently made out it was merely for the child's own good when the delivery was obviously due to anger not care and concern
Accusations of not allowing him to know child's measurements so he can buy clothe/shoes for child and purposely buying the wrong sizes even though I have given him the right sizes on the phone and then saying that I'm just being critical and every single present he sends isn't good enough (completely not true)
Final straw - ExH told me he wanted to come here with his family, take child during school term time, on a trip to a third country to somewhere he knows child really, really wants to go to. We have been over the fact that I have been advised to not let child out of country based on previous behaviour of ExH without certain things being in place via a court order, and we have been over that time and time and time again, each time he declares that he has no idea why I am being so difficult and that there are laws in place to prevent him from keeping child outside this country (yes, there are....but first I would have to find child and ExH - but I have his address so of course I'd be able to find them) then I would have to pay for the case to be brought to court (in a country that is notorious for astronomically high lawyer fees and dragging out such cases for years and years and years). Anyway, I reiterated that such arrangements needed to be sorted out in court and that he was welcome to apply to this jurisdiction. I asked him to please not say anything to child until we had sorted it out in court.
So, ExH on next phone call told child all about the trip, letting child know that whole family would be there including step-children, and would child like to come....of course I had to say no, child was in bits.
I said no more phone calls and have stuck to that since. E-mail contact only. I've just been through another 24 hours of random phone calls and e-mails asking me to let ExH speak to child. I haven't backed down. I don't' feel I can trust ExH to not pull more of these stunts.
Am I doing the right thing? Am I being too harsh? Since me implementing the e-mail contact ExH has frequently gone weeks and weeks without replying to child's emails.