Lives lived on FB! Can famillies survive?

[Lettucesnow]

Without revealing too much a family member has just announced something that, in 'my' day mum and dad would have had the pleasure of being told first, before anyone else, before it went viral on that b*dy Face Book.

The mum and dad are upset as they put themselves out a lot of the time to support this individual.

Is it me...is this the modern age????

I don't use facebook. I still think that it is polite to tell the parents first and I would have been gutted if my daughter and her fiancé didn't tell me about their engagement first. As it happens, her fiancé came and asked DH for daughters hand in marriage so we actually knew before she did.
I have used facebook in the past and stopped about 3 years ago as if used incorrectly it is not good.

No that is just plain rude.

Facebook is for telling the masses after you have told the important people :)

If it is the Modern Age then the Modern Age is crap and wants knocking backing to the 20th Century!

What onetiredmummy said.

Agree with onetiredmummy it is convenient to tell the people you don't want to tell in person / individually etc.

I suppose if you don't see it like that though, you wouldn't understand why others might be offended?

Dare I say its a bit "entitled" of mum and dad to expect to hear first. I'm assuming its an engagement or pregnancy or something.

I use FB lots, but every carefully and wouldn't dream of announcing anything significant on FB until I'd spoken to family and close friends.

FB doesn't stop people having manners - it's just an excuse. The more people shrug and say it's jut the way things are, the more acceptable bad manners become!

I don't think it is bad manners to announce one's own news on Facebook.

Yes, bad manners to announce a friend or relative's birth or engagement or whatever.

But if I had a baby (heaven's above!) or had some other major news to announce, I really don't see how that could be bad manners if I chose to use Facebook to do that.

Dare I say its a bit "entitled" of mum and dad to expect to hear first.

Not if the mum and dad have supported the announcer with their 2 kids, pets, holidays and financial hiccups AND saw them only the day before to do them a favour surely?

People are idiots with facebook.

A friend found out her father had passed away on facebook. Some twat relative thought it was good to announce it on fb without making sure all the relatives knew.

Another friend found our her daughter was pregnant on fb. Another found out her sister had gotten married on fb. Mushy pea brains, the lot of them.

I'm old school old and I quite like facebook. There are just one or two people in my life who I suspect are not really my cup of tea, and now that I am "friends" on facebook and see what they are concerned with day to day, my suspicions have been more or less confirmed. Its great for sorting the wheat from the chaff.

I don't know, I remember having to jump through all sorts of hoops to make sure we told friends in the 'right' order that we were engaged, and then later when we were expecting DD1, just in case someone heard secondhand and got offended. FB would have been quite handy, at least everyone would have found out at the same time! Not our parents though, we would always have told them in person!

Thanks for all your replies. Most confirm it's not just me then

I like the idea of a text to say "Congrats but I'm surprised we found out via FB"

Brilliantly put! HappyCliffmas

If it is important news, engagement, marriage, death etc, then of course you should tell the important people first, like your parents, grandparents etc. My parents don't use facebook and would be mortified to find out news like that via a friend in the supermarket or whatever!

Then once you have told the important people and I would include close friends in that, you can break it on facebook to all and sundry.

If you're from a close, supportive family it is not AT all entitled for the parents to expect to be told first. To be honest, why wouldn't you want parents to be the first to know? I think a lot of people would tell their parents big news first

Hope everyone has taken note of the rules according to SkyeSkyeSkye. Now there is no excuse not to use FB properly!

Was talking to my supervisor about it today and she said something similar happened to her friend who was gutted. When she plucked up courage and asked her daughter in law why she had announced it on FB before telling in-laws, who also spend a lot of time helping out, about her latest pregnancy she made some excuse and said she had tried to text her to tell her the news but the message got stuck!..is that any better????? Why can't people see how wrong this is! What's up with face to face or at least a phone call if you live miles away?

I would never tell grandparents news directly, that what my parents are for.

To be honest I'd tell friends news first before parents.

So I think it is a bit entitled of mum and dad here. People have a right to announce their own news in the way they want.

And I think it's bloody rude to ask someone's parents if you can marry them before you've asked them, but that might just be me.

lettuce I think it's really sad that people would rather announce it on facebook before telling their parents. Maybe not everybody is close to their parents, but if my mum had discovered that I was pregnant, via somebody in the local shop who had seen it on facebook and I hadn't told her first, she would have been really upset and there is no way that I would do that to her.

My cousin announced on facebook that her Gran had died. They hadn't told her sister yet , so she found out via fb and was really upset. Her parents were furious that it was announced via computer screen late at night, while they were in the middle of ringing round and telling people.

I use facebook all the time, but would never break news like that without being sure that everybody who mattered, already knew about it.

Blimey, not sure I think I'm entitled but I'd be gutted if either of my children chose to tell the world major news (engagement, pregnancy etc) via FB before they told their Dad and me. Those of you saying it's entitled... would you honestly not mind if loads of other people knew significant news about your DCs before you???

Prickly... I'm confused by your post I have to say. 'I think it's bloody rude to ask someone's parents if you can marry them before you've asked them, but that might just be me.'

What has that got to do with the original post?