Can I have some opinions please

[MrsSnail]

I'm in the process of getting divorced, multiple reasons for the marriage failing, some mine, a lot his.
Once it reached critical, 'can't live with it level' I was still scared stiff to actually go and it took a very good, male, single parent friend to convince me that I could do it, that I wouldn't loose DD and end up bankrupt in the gutter ( yes, really, I know it sounds melodramatic but thats what ex made me believe).
While I was married another good male friend knew how bad it was and was verbally supportive but nothing more. now I'm out he wants to 'try' a relationship. I'm not convinced at all. I'm very fond of him and DD adores him but the fact he didnt help me before and the lack of commitment now just make me very wary. He doesn't want to live with me, doesn't get on with my cats and has trouble coping with DD tantrums (shes just 3). He's good company but jealous of my other friends too.
Sorry if thats rambling, what do you think?

I think no... you have to ask, when it should be new and exciting! Listen to your gut. I suspect you're a little "conditioned" to accepting low at the moment.

Some of the things you've said wouldn't concern me - I'm not great with 3yo tantrums, and I've had a full year learning curve on them with my 4yo! :)

But being jealous about your friends - bad sign.

Mostly though - you just shouldn't feel you need to ask.wait for better - it's out there for you!

It sounds as though he doesn't want a relationship, he wants an overnight meaningful relationship with no strings attached.

Decline politely and enjoy getting your life together til someone more tolerant and who actually likes your set up and you would feel would be a good person for your dd to interact with.

Did he actually say all that in one go?!

All in one day lavender

I think you're right cabrinha, I need to raise my expectations a bit

He hopes you will be receptive when he makes a booty call. I think after the emotion of a break up you're not going to want to risk any situation where you don't feel in control.

This is definitely a NO I'm afraid. Wait for that special man to come along and don't waste your time with this bloke, he's clearly not right for you. Good luck.

Perthaps he wants a friends with benefits situation? Although those can be good I'm not sure it would be the best thing for you right now [brew

He's a chancer, avoid him now, he is just going to badger you for sex, then leave you high and dry.

Give your dd a hug and congratulate yourself you were right to be suspicious and say no thanks, Casanova:)

Thanks for all your responses :) my confidence is pretty low after ex h and I really wasn't sure if what I was feeling was 'right'

Definitely not. In my book he comes under that sad camp of men that zone in on vulnerable women of which you are right now. You and dd deserve better.

Nope.

He's good company but jealous of my other friends too

Red flag here!
Avoid this guy - he's not for you and you know it.

Get your life together. Be single for a good while and enjoy it. It really can be great.
Then the right man will come along and you will know about it.
But enjoy life first and don't get tied into a 'relationship' until you are completely ready.

This would be rebound for you. Believe me, I've been there. I never really believed it before but it's not great so avoid.
Good luck with everything.

Nope have to agree.

Firstly prob best for you to take some time to find who you are outside yr marriage. Plus if u have doubts already its not right.

Theres a man out there who'll fall head over heels for you AND your dd. Wait for him.

This guy sounds like hard work before its even started

I am just open mouthed at this op, and that rarely happens.

I can't believe you are putting up with this. His response that he finds sex with you and pleasuring you distasteful must be absolutely destroying your confidence and self esteem.

I don't know what else to suggest if you say you won't leave him.

Sorry I've posted this in completely the wrong place!!! Please ignore!!!!