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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

RELATIONSHIP AT BREAKING POINT HELP!!!

4 replies

Rosiemarie1992 · 02/12/2013 12:46

hello

I'm new to mums net, & I needed to off load some how, just hope it helps me.
I have been with my partner of three years, we have a 7 month old baby boy who is happy and beautiful. He is 30 years old ten years older than me, But our relationship couldn't get Any worse.

He is just always busy he has two previous children which he was in a relationship for 5 years which ended badly, he still sees his children once a week. He gives in to the two other children and just gives them what they want when they want, same with their mother.

My partner is a mummy's boy at 30 years old, does what she wants when she wants it. We live together but he still has belongings at his mothers house. I cannot trust him, he has a serious gambling problem, which makes me trust him less, because he lies. And he has a erg addictive personality. When he goes out to a club or bar he turns his phone off because apparently I pester him and call him too much, and doesn come back he goes to his mums or comes back later than he said he would with the excuse I rang him too much or he gt too drink or he was enjoying himself too much.
I don't work at the moment and am reliant on him, I want to go back to work but he said he can't look after the baby because of work commitments. I feel stuck trapped my confidence has gone and I'm always crying for help inside I just don't no what to do.. Please help????
thanks
l

OP posts:
mammadiggingdeep · 02/12/2013 12:53

Sorry you're having a hard time. Did you work before your son was born? Do you have a job open for you?

Blossomflowers · 02/12/2013 13:16

mamma I think OP would have still been at school when she met her partner. Sorry rosie Do you have family support? you do realise your DP is abusive and you need to get away from him. He is selfish and only cares about himself. addictive personality my ass. You are young and his is taking advantage of you. Why is he going to clubs and pubs when he has you and your beautiful son at home? This is not the way commited man should behave, Big hugs to you.

mammadiggingdeep · 02/12/2013 13:18

I thought the same as blossom to be honest. He is taking the piss.

Are you close to your parents? Do you want to leave him?

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 02/12/2013 13:31

A gambling problem is mammoth and I know you don't want to hear this but please think very hard. He may have promised you the moon on a stick but while he is gripped by this you'll always come second.

"Always busy" can you expand on this? In three years you have probably learned to make adjustments and compromises as we all do, first moving in with a partner then having a baby. A mummy's boy doesn't sound like good partner material, is he pulling his weight domestically? Is he a hands-on dad with your baby? Or is that side of things all magically your responsibility?

I'm all in favour of a decent man staying close to any DCs (that's MN speak for children) from a former relationship but when he tells you he's visiting them is he being truthful?
Have you ever talked to his ex?

Where are your family, it is quite an age gap between you, were you anxious to grow up fast and move out quickly?

You are a young mum but there's help out there, keep posting here.

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