DH..who is he?

[aawcmon]

I just found out my DH has a Twitter account which I was quite surprised at as he is not very tech savvy, but had a smile to myself and had a look at his tweets. It was as if they were written by someone else, full of swearing, talking about drinking and chatting with few random women I've never heard of. The bits that really got me though we're the inappropriate comments about celebrity females (what they could do to him) and a tweet to say he was going to have to listen to his favourite band to 'survive' the night...with me and the kids I presume. The thing is he is 'following' me (I only use Twitter to see local council road and school information) so he wasn't trying to hide anything. I feel angry and disappointed, this is a middle aged man. Am I over reacting?

Inappropriate comments about celebrity females??!!??! And you are married to him!??!

Yuk

Sorry, should probably define inappropriate. This 'celebrity' tweeted a double entendre and he shared it saying 'you can do that to me any time' probably thinking it was hilarious...man child.

So, it was just one comment and in reply to this celebrity's?

What would concern me the most, in that case, would be the "surviving the night" bit.

I don't think you're overreacting to be slightly disgusted at this twattish alter-ego. Have you challenged him on whether he really thinks all these things?

Try not to take it to heart (easier said than done).

Twitter isn't real life. In fact it was featured last night on that Charlie Brooker video game show, that's exactly what it is - a game - get more followers, get a response/retweet from a celebrity. It's sad.

He's probably just acting the lad on it, trying to get a reaction from his mates, talking dirty to women he'll never meet in real life (not nice I know).

Rise above it.

I just had it out with him. He says it was a way of passing the time, nothing else. Can't explain the comments, they were just him trying to look cool in front of his friends. He says he's finished with it now...I said I don't care at this point, the damage has been done. He looks very contrite but I'm so angry just now. I agree, the comment that gets me the most is the surviving one.

You could argue that in Twitter he feels free to act out what he's keeping hidden for whatever reason.
I never felt the need to be a bitch online (at least not more than I usually am) just to show off.

You have to ask him where exactly is he acting. Online or at home.

That's exactly it Lweji...I asked him who I was married to, the guy I knew or the pr*ck on twitter...no surprises what his answer was. He seems to think that not using his account is the answer, not getting the fact that the damage has been done....how dare he say what he said about his family, we're not a bloody endurance test.

Feel for you. Think that social media is such a ego trip for some people at least. My OH had a couple of these things going including being part of a facebook relationshion group set up by a semi literate african "graduate" of half his age who friended him under the guise of liking white men. He discussed our difficult marriage and his EA with a work colleague as if she had some deep insight. He was also private messaging her - stupid bitch messaged him to see if he was up for "messing around" but sent it to family email! Think she was surprised at the response!!! He also left group and defriended her - that email he showed me - she thanked him for being such a "good friend"... vomit inducing.

How would he feel if you were behaving and corresponding like this on the internet while he was at work. It would be demoralising and upsetting.

Thanks for confirming I'm not over reacting. I've been on antidepressants for past few months owing to pressure of work and my mum not being well, so this has really knocked me, pathetic I know.

I don't think it's pathetic.

I'd have been upset as well.

I think he should do some major charm op to convince you.

The last line of what Lweji said in the 11.36 post. Plus...he does this when he knows you are poorly and on antidepressants - what a bell end! I am sorry you are having to deal with this.

He's been a little insensitive. Social media allows people to put across a different persona. He likely thought he was being a jack-the-lad. From what you say, he hadn't hidden it from you and, by the sounds of it, is just guilty of being a little bit of a prat. Try not to overreact. Families are an endurance test.....sometimes

I understand why you're upset, I would be too. But try not to dwell on one comment too much. What he said about 'surviving the night' could possibly have been more innocent than it sounds reading it out of context. It could have been his - tactless - way of saying 'I need a glass of wine to look forward to to get through this evening, I've had a long day at work and the kids have far too much energy!'

Thank you for all your replies. I feel more disappointed now, rather than angry as he obviously isn't the person I thought he was. The man I know would never say any of the stuff he did (even if it was just to impress his friends), so I guess its just coming to terms with that. We've had a bad year, but were gradually beginning to get things back on track....back to the drawing board I guess.