Wasting my time, but love him

[oopsadaisyme]

I didn't think this until I posted a previous thread about xmas, but really don't think my OH has moved on from his previous family -

I'm alot younger than him, we've been together 6 years now, he was with his ex wife for 16 years though, and every 'special occasion' seems to be wrong, or not 'go right' (xmas especially).

I've tried, but what's just hit home to me (discussion sites are a new thing to me) was him at the pregnancy/birth of my Ds2 (my first with him).

He didn't want me to have an epidural, when I went into labour, it was 'his weekend' with his other kids, so was told it would 'pro-long' my labour, when I was 12 hours in and finally couldn't cope with the pain I asked (begged) for one, and when the midwife left to get, he called me a 'selfish cow' -

Luckily, when I was put on my side to get the injection in my back, my beautiful Ds2 shot out -

He held, then left -

The next day, he brought his other children, along with his ex wife!!!!!, in to see me and the baby, because she wanted to 'get a look with the kids' , and they were apparently 'getting on' at the time-

I had no say in this, and cried my eyes out in hospital after -

I've never spoken about this, but everything just seems wrong right now

And then, to add insult to injury, he expected you to primp yourself just after giving birth so you wouldn't look untidy in front of his ex-wife, who he brought along without your knowledge or consent? OK, you may dispute the word "abuser", and I can't say it definitely applies on the evidence of this thread alone, but "insensitive prick" is definitely fair comment.

You do not want to be with a total tit at all let alone some of the time.

The only acceptable level of abuse within a relationship is NONE, that's t right, none.

I used the term abuser in his case because of the way he acts around other people i.e all happy and jolly and when it comes to you, you cop all his rage and crappy behaviours. You minimise it still by excusing him. He acts differently to others, I think he hates your very being and infact hates all women. He is inadequate as a human being.

Well. Mumsnet never fails to shock me. Sorry op but I have to be honest, the story about labour and then bringing his ex wife in...well, don't say it often but he is a cunt of the highest order. Unbelievable. That is so disrespectful and I actually had to read it twice to check if read what I thought I'd read.

It doesn't matter what he's like the rest of the time: on that anecdote alone, he is a cunt :(

oh, don't worry, he' confirmed his feelings of me now, tried to talk about this on another thread regarding the outcomes of posting this, and my discussion with him -

should never have been with him