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Original poster

First time sex with new man....hugely nervous....

52 replies

frenchmanicure · 30/11/2013 13:05

I have been dating someone for the last couple of months, all seems to be going well, and physically we are now at a point where sex is on the cards.

I find him incredibly attractive - not just physically but mentally as well, he engage and excites my brain (if that doesn't sound weird!), and I very much want to sleep with him.

BUT

I feel, for once, so nervous. About the sex, about my body. This has never worried me before, I've never had pre-sex nerves. I've had ONS without any regret. I'm not the most confident person about my body generally but somehow in bed I've never been that worried til now. It's weird feeling like this, any words of advice?

OP posts:
MadeMan · 01/12/2013 12:46

Hi Frenchy, I'm a man and when I want a woman, I WANT a woman no matter what. Flabby bits, saggy bits, he probably won't even notice them if he's got the horn for you.

Love handles give you something to grab hold of, unlike all these toned up hard bodied chocolate dodgers.

You ever try to turn over a mattress without handles? It's not easy.

Original poster
frenchmanicure · 01/12/2013 12:52

Thanks! He will have too much plenty to grab hold of in my case!

Definitely thinking I will need a calminng glass (or 2) of wine beforehand though Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
frenchmanicure · 01/12/2013 12:52

calming even!

OP posts:
Handywoman · 01/12/2013 14:59

Tawdry place marking from me also. Go with the flow OP and enjoy!

Original poster
frenchmanicure · 01/12/2013 19:24

I will try...

However have come over a bit flappy and anxious as not heard from him today (this is not an issue of itself, it's my own history of shit men projecting onto this and fanning the flames of fear...) Off for a calming bath :)

OP posts:
Vivacia · 01/12/2013 19:33

If you're prepared to have sex with him, are you not prepared to mention your concerns beforehand? You don't need to go in to detailed overkill, but just mention that it's been a while and you feel a bit shy about your body?

To be honest, I expect he won't be able to believe his luck at getting you naked. Sexiness is about 90% confidence, fake it to make it and all that.

girliefriend · 01/12/2013 19:51

Also shameless place marking, I am in a similar situation in that am seeing a bloke and think sex is probably going to be on the cards in the next few weeks.

I am pretty nervous as haven't had sex in a really long time Blush plus the last time was pretty shit so am hoping this time will be much better!

MummyBeerest · 01/12/2013 19:58

Hi OP-was the plan to get together yesterday or today?

Original poster
frenchmanicure · 01/12/2013 20:10

girliefriend it is nerve-wracking isn't it?! I hadn't thought about it until a week ago, now I can't stop. I think that it will potentially be VERY good, which of itself is also a bit scary!

Weds is the big day. Or night, rather...

OP posts:
MummyBeerest · 01/12/2013 20:21

Ah, don't worry! Loads of time.

Was there a particular reason the two of you decided to wait?

HerBigChance · 01/12/2013 20:24

Am also marking place as I think I may be in this position (oo-er) in the next few weeks.

notapizzaeater · 01/12/2013 20:26

Perhaps he's just as worried about it as you are ....

Relax enjoy and go with the flow, you can laugh about this afterwards.

Original poster
frenchmanicure · 01/12/2013 20:33

It was meant to be last week, but had to be postponed due to me being 'off games'. Had we done it last week, I'd only have had 3 days to worry about it beforehand rather than over a week!

OP posts:
LetsCancelChristmas · 01/12/2013 22:05

Wise words Vivacia
I used to think this "project it and you are it" mentality was utter cobblers but I increasingly believe it! Suck it in, stick your boobies out, bite your lip and away you go Grin

girliefriend · 01/12/2013 22:21

Am wondering about making this friday night 'the night' but obv not telling him that! Will see if my friend could have dd over for a sleepover and make sure I have clean sheets!!

Original poster
frenchmanicure · 01/12/2013 22:30

Ah it's good if you can have it as an option girlie, if it doesn't feel right fri then you don't have to, and he won't be any the wiser iyswim? :)

Ours has by circumstance to be rather more planned - plus the fact he told me he really wanted to last weekend and we had a somewhat overheated conversation about it Blush; as a result last weekend I was completely over-excited at the prospect, then we had to postpone, and the nerves kicked in. I bloody wish we hadn't had to postpone! waves fist in direction of unpredictable monthly cycle

OP posts:
MummyBeerest · 04/12/2013 08:24

Have a great time tonight! Wink

BettySwalloxs · 04/12/2013 20:28

Good luck! Don't be nervous - just shag him until his ears fall off....Wink

Original poster
frenchmanicure · 04/12/2013 22:00

Just to update...all went fine :) no need for nerves!

OP posts:
PyjamaDayToday · 04/12/2013 23:38

That's wonderful - the others will be along soon and will want details Grin

Dwerf · 04/12/2013 23:54

Oh yay, now unleash your inner tigress Grin

MummyBeerestCupOfCheerest · 05/12/2013 00:30

Awesome!

notapizzaeater · 05/12/2013 12:34

Brilliant - now enjoy !!

DottyDayDreams · 05/12/2013 21:38

Glad it went well.....how exciting starting on your new relationship.

Me2Me2 · 05/12/2013 21:43

ha ha brill!