four weeks.post csection advice on partner ......

[danibear123]

Hi so where do a start my sons four weeks old a had very high risk bad preg then baf csec grade four previa lost 2/3 litres off blood bad bad pregnancy any way rewind till now . My partner the babys father has always been their fr me during pregnancyand alway been so excited happy to be father and loved our son so much now the past week all sudden we havnt seen him at all 7 days ta
oday hes been staying ones his best mates my mil has been up everyday at thia friends having a go at him for obvious reasons cause no one can understand it hes promised to come home eveeyday this week and keeps letting us down now this is out blue hes suddenly.not interested in being dad not helped nor asked bout his son been with his mates full time putting them bfr us now hes completely changd out blue he was great dad an dp can anyone shed light or advice on what they thinl going on going out mind here on own like av lost my dp and babys father as hes completely changed advice imput please

lweji...i agree a dont think i could even look at him at moment the hurt etc hes caused this week and i dont know i ever could forgive him no excuse for way he is choosing too be ....my sons just amazing and so loved we had very traumatic pregnancy and also at the time thought that put into perspective to him.whats important today will tell .....x

It's time to move on.

This man is a shit father and a crap partner.

He's walked out on his family, so you need to make that permanent now.

Change the locks on your home. He clearly no longer intends to live there, as he has been gone for a week.

Pack up his stuff and ask his mother to take it to her home, or else have it disposed of.

Start thinking about where you would like to be located on a permanent basis.

His family are great, but would you be happier near your own?

Do you work where you are? Where will you and your son be happiest?

There is no longer any reason to stay in the town where you are now unless it feels like home to you now.

yeah well this is home fr us now and really happy here too yes going bk to work here yes ur right any man that walks out on family isnt worth my time off day no more ...xx

UPDATE .. feel like am going explode angry crack break down all at once ....he never showed textd about hour go an a said guess ur no longer seeing me or ur son he says hes doing nothing wrong makes it worse he with his mates again a want to go up their n give them all piece my mind n let him.know what pathetic excuse off human he is doing this to me and our baby a feel like am goin out my mind:(

Are you living in a rented home? If so, is he on the tenancy agreement?

OFFRED ...hi no its my private let we were getting a mortgage after the 12 months but looks like thats up in the air now ..x

Oh I'm so sorry.

He is telling you what kind of a person he is. You don't have time nor energy for this. Concentrate on your beautiful baby and tell him to get in touch when he wants to see his son.

Do you have friends that would come and stay over for a few nights? Are you close to your mum?

If he is not on the tenancy agreement and you can maintain the home on your own then I would stop the texting and just kick him out. He clearly has no intention of being a partner or a father, it doesn't matter why.

Consider him someone else's problem from now on, notify him that he no longer lives with you, give him a date to remove his stuff and get his keys back off him (send his mum).

He doesn't think he is doing anything wrong, he is but what matters is getting you a support structure you can rely on while you are vulnerable.

He is not it. If he were mine I would have lost any respect for him and wouldn't want him back as a partner.

I'd suggest calling the CSA and getting support payments set up too.

If you need additional support you could see if there is a homestart near you or visit your local children's centre.

Yes, as mamma says "he is telling what kind of person he is" and you need to listen. Get your finances in order and contact him through solicitors. He has 'checked out' of his family. You will be better off without a grown up child to look after as well as a baby.
Congratulations on your beautiful baby

MAMMADIGGING .... my mums few hours away as is my family were all next to his yes clearly shown his true self now a went through difficult preg also am trying to gt over also had my baby misdiagnosed as dead at 34 weeks that is another very long story then 10 hour later told he was alive ita very complicated so thought that put into perspective what was important to hin as it did to me would nt wish upon anyone

OFFREd ....yez been attending groups already and centre places seeing my hv regular too yes hes made his bed now can lie in it

BUZZARDBIRD....yes i know and thankyou hez so precious its terrible the things men get away with but his time will come..

Good luck dani.

Maybe you could head off and stay with your mum for a week or two? Make sure y contact the CSA...that's one responsibility he can't shirk.

So sorry you had such an awful experience at 34 weeks- horrendous. Even more reason to focus on enjoying your baby and only offering him the best in life. At the mo, his father isn't giving him 'the best' so you'll have to give it your all. Well done for getting through this week without him. It'll be easier once you're not waiting for a text/call/ key in the door.

You only get one life...