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Original poster

What do I do? - not sure if right area to post

7 replies

foslady · 28/11/2013 19:38

After 13 years together, 1 child and 1 year of marriage, 4 and a half years ago h walked out on me and dd for ow.

I have met ow once in all that time. Three weeks ago for 2 mins when we all ended up on a railway platform. I tolerate xh for dd's sake (long back story of the way how he treated me).

I still get on with his family - just him I have to tolerate (his family were angry with him for leaving).

Fast forward to now. Dd has just come home from her dads with a wedding invite for both of us to her Uncle and Aunts wedding and has been asked to be a bridesmaid.

Would you go? I honestly don't know what the hell to do

(sorry if I don't get back quickly - typed whilst dd in shower - she'll 11)

TIA

OP posts:
Minime85 · 28/11/2013 19:44

is this you exh brother or sister's wedding then? how did u get on with them? I'd go I think for your daughter.

Dogonabeanbag · 28/11/2013 19:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
foslady · 28/11/2013 20:23

It's ex bil's wedding. he's a bit younger, and I used to talk to him when he went into his 'troubled teen' phase when the others struggled (being outside the situation helped him I think).

I think you're right dogonabeanbag - I'm sure she'd want me there, and there certainly wouldn't be any 'scene' we're not that kind of people! Usually during the wedding bit you can avoid who you want, and hopefully i could 'slip away' quietly. They're a lovely couple, and I expect there'll be some people I'd love to see again.

Guess it's time to practise my 'shoulders back and smile' routine (whilst cringing like mad inside)

Thanks for letting me say this out aloud - one of the downsides of being on your own.......

OP posts:
Dogonabeanbag · 28/11/2013 20:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
foslady · 28/11/2013 20:57

Thank God for internet on my phone!!!!!!!! I'm sure it'll be fine - usually the more you dread stuff, the better it turns out to be

And I think it's really lovely that she's been asked to be a bridesmaid - she's at an age where she'll be taking it all in so it will be extra special

OP posts:
Minime85 · 29/11/2013 17:14

yes I think you're definitely thinking in the right direction.

forumdonkey · 29/11/2013 17:20

If you really feel you can't or don't want to face exh & ow could you not just go to the church service and skip the reception and leave dd with her dad?

Quite frankly OW is probably just as worried about your presence there if not more so if you have the good relationship with all your exil's

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