have you been to relate

[clio51]

Hi

I've got an appointment at relate tomoz and don't know what to expect!

Do they just listen to what you have to say and give no opinion of the situation.
I not been before and was just wondering if anybody can give me an insight of what happens, I am going on my own, did you go on your own or with hubby/partner?

Thanks

Went on my own for two lots of sessions - one lot of sessions with DDs father. (should get loyalty points ) . Still going now dunce exp theatrically dumped me in sept. they will listen to you and assess if they can help you. Then you can make further apps. It depends on your counsellor. I find it helpful to endlessly moan discuss week in week out. See how you feel after tomorrow . You should feel relaxed and able to say anything . They always have lots of tissues. Good luck

It depends a lot on the counsellor. I went with XH and it was helpful to have someone ask pertinent questions - her facial expressions when he came out with some of the rubbish that he did were a picture!

People have criticised her for suggesting that H may have been on the spectrum due to some of his answers, but I am grateful she brought it up as it made him look into it and it made me realise that nothing I did could change him. She also said she couldn't advise we continue with counselling as he had no empathy, so saved us a fortune on further appointments!

Apparently though she should never had tried to 'diagnose', just listen and prompt but I am really grateful to her for making me realise it wasn't just me being over-sensitive.

I imagine it would be easier alone than with a partner though, you can concentrate on your own needs rather than the 'failings' of the other person. Good luck with it, I hope you get what you need from it.

I went with my now ex husband. It was good. It makes you look at things. Although we subsequently divorced it was a helpful experience. She asks you what you think about what the other person has said, so both sides get a fair hearing. It's natural to be nervous. Go for it. It will probably help you to decide if the relationship is salvageable. Good luck

I went with XP, some of them on my own (when he was too hungover to attend). They did ask questions. My answers (and XP's) made me see there was no future for our relationship, so it was helpful in that regard. I had been flogging a dead horse for far too long by that point anyway.

Hope all goes well.

Me and dh went in January for a few months, and whilst we found it helpful in some respects, if your heart is not in the relationship then it may not be the answer.

DH and I are separating, but he found it useful to understand the resentment that had built up over the years.

Good luck op.

It seems unanimous that everyone who has been is now ex! I'm sure there are people who have been that are still together.

In fact it was recommended by a friend who had left her H and met someone else, sadly that didn't work out but, her H was a friend to her during a difficult time and they went for counselling and are now happy back together. It can work.

Hi

Thanks for the feedback.

Well I went today, I was anxious the thoughts of what will I say,what will she be like etc.

Well shed turned out to be ok,listened to me and my concerns about my relationship and pointed out to be how my partner would be thinking about a certain thing. She also suggested my partner felt left out because I have my son and he doesn't have anybody to turn to so maybe feeling resentment towards son/myself bond. I still feel I have lots of things going around my head and issues regarding my son I can't just stop talking to him because my partner is jealous.

What I never thought off silly now was the waiting list! 6/8 weeks!!
She also said tell partner I'd been there and ask him to come if not it still would be good for me to go alone.
Glad I went,just the wait now
Thanks