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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Last straw with husband

10 replies

copcake · 26/11/2013 21:35

We had a row earlier which escalated. It started over something I said that he didn't like (about family visiting for xmas) and he flew off the handle, then did a routine he always does: refused to cook dinner (his turn), go upstairs and pretend to be asleep, refuse to talk etc.

I came down and said it would be better if we made up. He ran out of the house, slamming the door and waking our 1 year old. While I was comforting her he came back and rang the doorbell, further unsettling her. I had to leave her crying to go and answer it. He came in calling me a 'piece of shit' and then came into my daughter's room (all in the dark, with blackout blinds' and said he'd 'make me regret it' if I spoke to him again tonight.

I'm used to him being an egotistical bastard and he has never, ever made up, rather he always loses his rag then sleeps in the spare room and has days of resentment, but I can't believe he threatened me while I was comforting our baby. He's always a selfish, moody **stard, flying off the handle whenever he likes, downbeat and complaining.

I want to leave, tomorrow. Just venting really.

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 26/11/2013 21:38

Rather than you leaving, how about telling him to leave for a week or two, calm down and have a good long think about how tantrums, flouncing, verbal abuse & threatening, aggressive behaviour has no place in your home? He'll never change if he thinks he has nothing to lose.

MistAllChuckingFrighty · 26/11/2013 21:40

If he won't leave, the yes, you leave.

I don't think it will be very long before he lashes out physically as well as verbally. If he hasn't already.

MistAllChuckingFrighty · 26/11/2013 21:40

then yes

Handywoman · 26/11/2013 21:44

Oh he sounds lovely. Where will you go, is there a good friend you can go to? Hope you have lots of good people to lean on IRL. In the meantime, we are here rooting for you!

Pollydon · 26/11/2013 22:03

Tell him to leave, what an arsehole !

BarbarianMum · 26/11/2013 22:16
NorfolkInGood · 26/11/2013 23:44

He sounds like a toddler. Tell him you need space and hopefully he might realise how he is acting.

EirikurNoromaour · 27/11/2013 08:14

He sounds emotionally abusive and yes, you should leave. This treatment is unacceptable.

alikat724 · 27/11/2013 15:50

Wow OP are we married to the same person?? Thanks for you

Our DD is 2 tomorrow, and I ended it by text today. Cowardly I know, but we've been going through the same thing you are for the entirety of our marriage (including the honeymoon, oh wasn't that fun!).

Verbal and emotional abuse will take its toll on you and your daughter, get out while you have a shread of self-esteem left (as you sound like you do!) and your daughter hasn't internalised his ill-treatment of you as part of your relationship with her.

Areyoumymummysnet · 27/11/2013 22:16

LTfuckingB. Quick. Get solictor, block joint account. Ignore his inevitable whining. He won't change but he will grind you down and make your dd see that his behaviour is acceptable. She will flourish with a strong female role model. Good luck. Thanks

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