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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Shall I have an affair?

28 replies

pink1 · 19/02/2002 13:29

OK, Now I've got your attention this is actaully a serious question, and one that I already know the answer to, only I want feedback.

My Dh is depressed, it has been going on for year, and it has slowly eroded the dynamic, wonderful man I married. We have been married 4 years and together nearly 7 (maybe it's the 7 yr itch) but I am starting to feel ground down. I know I should be sympathetic, and supportive but it is so hard. I am the main breadwinner, we have two young children and although my dh works occassionally it is always one day here, a week there (it goes with his job, and can't be changed). We have a nanny, which has caused problems as my parents pay for the nanny when dh isn't working. This is to leave him free to get work (he's an actor) and also to keep continuity in their care. This means he feels that his role is being eroded, and that I don't trust him to look after them, but it is a catch 22 (if we didn't have her, he couldn't look for work etc). Anyway this is just part of teh issue, he has no self esteem and always looks to me to give him a boost, but I never know what to say. If he says he feels fat and unattractive and I say 'no you are not' he says that I am only saying it because I want him to feel better! Vicious circle. He also gets very anxious about silly things, the other day watching an ad he was worried becaus ethe people lost their camera! He can't sleep etc etc. I could go on,

Finally he has recognised that he needs help and is going to the GP next week, but I am starting to despair. I have met a guy who makes me lauch, we got absolutely trashed together and for teh first time in ages I wasn't a mum with 2 kids and a depressed hubby I was free! The guy knows I'm married, but we are flirting via email, I know it could lead to all sorts, and I am so tempted. He is nice, rich, sucessful, good looking in fact your real milk tray man (without the cheesiness) and I am tempted to have a fling. I know I can't and it's wrong as I do love my husband, but I want a bit of freedom and to feel desirable again (oh yes forgot that bit). I don't know why I'm postingthis becasue I know you will all tell me it's a bad move, I just want to know if any of you have been through this. I don't want to break up my marriage, I just want to feel like me again!

OP posts:
FuckItPassMeTheWine · 20/07/2018 08:06

Fucks sake another old thread !

@Archilpnd7 erm why the resurrection of a 2002 post?! Div

Archilpnd7 · 20/07/2018 08:10

Because i hate adultery ..........and at emme's reply, i was very much angry whatever the end result was in her life

DawnMumsnet · 20/07/2018 12:23

This thread was posted in 2002!

We're closing it now - it's unlikely the OP would want it resurrected after all these years.

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