Just told my mum to fuck off

[LEMisafucker]

:( i was just at the end of my rope. Took her to the doctors, she was vile, wouldn't tell the doctor was was wrong, etc, it goes on and on and on, she has a bad back and we need to see her doctor about that, but she insisted on an emergency appointment today for something that is niggly. She insisted on walking to the town (i was already stressed becuse DP looking after DD and he needed to work, already behind with his job) i said that i would go for her but couldnt go with her because i didnt have time and that she should just let me go, then she started going on about how i don't do anything for her and she has to manage her own stuff (bullshit) and that i don't take her dog out for long enouh (i don't take him far because he actually can't cope with a long walk, old dog with bad legs). I just lost my rag and told her i couldnt deal with it and as i walked off told her to fuck off, i doubt she heard, shes deaf as a post but i still said it, didn't i.

I feel disgusted with myself, i should have just walked to the town with her and carried her shopping but I was stressed as i knew i had to get back for DD and she had been awful in the doctors so i was already stressed out.

I suffer from anxiety and am on medication, but thats no excuse - i am a vile person, people think im nice - if only they knew eh

I have to agree with Imperial, I think punching an old lady is well beyond the pale whether she's 60 or 80. God, does that even need saying?

Swearing is bad enough and I understand you're upset LEM (even though you laughed at the poor punched old lady). Tomorrow is another day. May be try to recognise when you are just being pushed too far and walk away - and keep your hands in your pocket :(

Not that I feel I need to justify what went on, because it all ended up in court. She had taken my child (6 months old) and had locked him in her bedroom, while calling me a whore and trying to push me out of her apartment. I refused to leave. She drunkly hit me across the face and when I failed to respond, she pinched my right arm until it bled. Then I punched her in her face, and kicked open her bedroom door and got my child. I got arrested.

The court case was heard, I produced the pictures of the bleeding and bruising. There was a witness that testified that I was hit first.

I was found not guilty. Later that week, the DA charged her with drunk and disorderly, child endangerment and filing a false police report. I refused to press charges but sought an Order of Protection for me and my child, which was granted.

Have at me, I couldn't give a shit. Not guilty in a court of law is good enough for me.

OP, you're not a vile person at all, you were pushed to your limit and you cracked. It sounds from what people are saying that you put up with a lot from your mum. Can you take a bit of a break from here, not see her for a while so that you have a chance to calm down? Or would that make things worse? I sympathise, my gran (my mum's mum) lived with us until she died some years ago, and the emotional blackmail and manipulation on my mother was awful to see. Family members just know how to push our buttons!

I'm sure she didn't even hear you swear, but even if she did, sometimes the shock of pushing a person so that they react in an extreme way can really help get through to the provoker that they have crossed a line. Or for you, whichever works!

A break from her, not here! I'm not trying to run you off!

LEM I remember previous threads. I know people suggested Dementia on them but you felt she had always been mentally unwell so unlikely. However just because she has been mentally unwell in the past does not mean that she hasn't now developed Dementia. I think you could do with talking to a doctor re this.

You need to put some boundaries in place for your own protection and to move forward to a time where she will need more help and support. Sadly this is likely to get worse over time and you need to find a way of dealing with it to avoid getting to the point where you snap and knacker your physical/mental health with the stress of it Ll.

Mixxy - that sounds like a bloody nightmare, i can see why you did that.

Well, theres more

This morning my mum' neighbour was knocking at my door, apparently at 3am there was much banging and crashing going on that woke the neighbour up and she was worried that she was unwell - could i check on her. I swear she thinks i don't give a fuck - apparently my mum told her that she doesn't like to bother me because im busy DP actually put her straight on that - he was steaming. But of course i was worried and thought, that would be typical, she died and the last thing i said to her was fuck off :( Went round, she was fine - totally denied the noise, but said "oh but there was someone knocking on my door at 3am" err, yeah, your neighbour to see if you were ok! I had made her an appointment to discuss her back, she has refused to go, I am going to go in her place and have discussion with the doctor, i can' cope with much more. I need some help (no family support - can you blame them!)

Start a diary LEM and log everything that has happened. Go back through your old threads if they are still there and get that down on paper too. Has your Mum given her GP permission to speak to you ? If not they might not be able to say much but they can listen.

You might need to consider withdrawing your support to protect yourself and let the authorities step in if there is a crisis and get yoyr Mum to accept help that is not you, to take the pressure off. Sounds very harsh but sometimes necessary. It's very common to tell others that you're not doing anything sadly.