I've been friends with someone a lot younger than me for 13 years. We both live on our own and meet up at weekends. I'm a mother of 2, with 3 grandchildren, she is single. We've had nice times, meals out, walks, days out etc. - in past years.
She has a lot of friends more her age and goes to gigs, nights out, cinema etc. She has holidays with her parents. All fine.
We have similar views on life and had experiences we each can empathise with and have supported each other in general. We often laugh a lot - when her world is ok.
She calls me her main/best friend, says I feel like an Aunt/big sister, and calls other people acquaintances.
However, nearly every weekend she snaps at me about something, and in the last couple of years always has a reason why not to walk, not to eat out, not to go on holiday with me [I would pay]. Recently she has started to mock me - my past, my views, how I live my life, my family. Some passive/aggressive stuff going on.
I feel I am walking on eggshells, waiting for the next remark. If I challenge her it turns into a row [I'm attacking her! not the other way round]. If I try and talk to her about things she denies she means anything by her [hurtful] remarks! She has a controlling and quite OCD personality, so much so I feel like I'm 'littering' her flat when I'm there. She doesn't like visitors. Although she rarely comes to visit me [always busy/tired etc].
I've been extremely patient, tried talking this through usually getting nowhere, and waiting for her to mature a bit [she also sulks sometimes]. However it's not about age, it's her personality isn't it?
She comes from a family who argues a lot - whilst my family is quiet apart from the odd flare up which puts things right.
I'm so confused. She says she likes me, and my company and wants my support and to see me at weekends [daytime] but I'm starting to dread it. When the weather is nice I just want to get out and enjoy it, go somewhere away from people/cars/concrete and make the most of it [as she used to] - now she wants to veg out or go shopping, she has a few health problems and is overweight but won't help herself. But also has enough energy for doing things with others, I note.
I feel like she is punishing me for something, is angry and also resentful as I'm a lot older yet fitter. I feel controlled, .....Yet she denies this. However I'm ready to say the friendship has run it's course, we've changed, the age difference may be causing trouble...and to say thanks, but I'm off. Would you?
PS. I know she would not talk to her other friends and workmates the way she talks to me - it all feels like a lack of respect. And also I am not perfect! Just stating how I've been feeling for a long time now.