Place your bets now...

[EllieInTheRoom]

So STBX, who was slightly emotionally abusive and controlling, has been a lot more bearable in the last week or so. He says he is trying to be a lot more positive and is coming to terms with the split.

I think I've discovered the reason why...he has been meeting up with his first love, who he has always remained friends with and who just split with her long term BF.

I'm willing to wager several bottles of prosecco that they'll be shacked up by summer.

I feel very OK with this. My DSis asked me how I would feel and when I said I wouldn't care, she said she was proud, which was nice. I feel quite proud of me too.

Im not dead sure what the point of posting is. I am wondering if its a predictable pattern of behaviour with men like him?

I think abusive and controlling people - bullies, for want of a better word - are fundamentally selfish. They are driven by 'I want' and, if things are going their own way, they are OK. Charming even. If not, they make the other person's life miserable until they get what they want. If there' a 'pattern' I think his old flame will be experiencing it now. The relentless charm to break down the barriers ('always remaining friends' suggests he's been keeping her warm just in case) followed by the miserable stuff if she doesn't meet expectations. Who knows? Who cares, right? :)

There are lots of men out there who can't seem to survive without a woman in their lives who they can control. So I think it's part of their M.O. to line up the next 'target' before the sheets are cold from the previous one - no matter how intense the dying relationship is.

You have a wonderful DSis to give you such a clear message of support. Good luck.

Yeah, yeah cog, I know who cares !

It might sound like I do but I am finding myself fascinated by the whole psyche of it though. Everything I am learning about EA and his issues is just so bloody interesting! I am hooked on this board!

It's weird when you figure out the last five years of your life followed a predictable script of abusive shite and the dreams you had never stood a chance of being fulfilled.

I am enjoying freedom with DS, and I genuinely would not feel any more pain if he went back to her. But I know, I just know he will.

They are so weak!

Thanks for the luck wisey x