I can't do this!!!

[Mosschops30]

Been seeing a lovely man for 5 months.
We live opposite ends of country, usually I go to his place on weekends I don't have dcs.
This weekend I'd said he could come and stay at mine but now I'm freaking out
I don't want him in my house, sharing my bed and meeting dd (17) Ds 1 and 2 won't be there.

I thought I did but I'm just not ready.

My mum says in being awful! Am I?

No of course not, if you're not ready that's fine...

Do you have enough money for you to both go to a hotel instead?
You could be together but not in your personal space if you aren't ready yet, and he could meet your dd without the awkwardness of having him trip upstairs to your bedroom

Yes sofa we can, I think that would be the better option.
I think he's great but I'm not ready for this, I still haven't taken over the house, and I'm still not fully divorced

You're not being awful, you can't help how you feel. Just break it to the gentleman in question as kindly - and early - as you can so the plans can be rearranged. If he is as nice as he appears he will understand.

No you are not awful. There is nothing wrong if you dont feel ready.
Dont pressure yourself.
The hotel idea sounds good :-)

I have just told him, he said it's fine, he understands and asked what I wanted to do instead
He said obviously he's not happy about it but a relationship is about working through things and finding solutions

See...nothing to worry about.
You go at your pace

He sounds lovely Mossy

I feel like a twat though, I've met his son, his parents, his friends.
He hasn't done that with me

That is fine. You will know when you are ready, and until then ...do not pressure yourself or allow anybody else to do so.

You know what you are doing. Dont worry about it xx

Well, if he is a good 'un then he wont care a jot. And if he is an old grump.about it then he isnt worth having to start with.

Whilst you shouldn't do anything you're not ready for, I think your Mum has a point. Right now he's a kind of fantasy booty-call. Your TLC bolt-hole from reality at the other end of the country. If I were you I'd be trying to work out what the real problem is with him seeing you in your domestic environment. Are you worried that it'll shatter the illusion?

«just realised that post puts me a generation older than I actually am»

err.... sup ma home girl, he da bomb finger flick

I don't have a problem with him seeing me as I am
We spent a weeks holiday together and I went up to nurse him after a recent operation so it hasn't all been shagging in hotels wearing nice lingerie