Should I move in with him or not?..

[MrsRBrand]

I live in a very small village, I have a lodger who is one of my best friends, a massive garden and nice sized rented house.
Yesterday she announced she is moving away and can give me three months notice if I wish as it will take her that long to come back and get all of her stuff out..
I am really struggling with money lately and dont See Ill be able to pay my rent for nov until the start of January. :(
My Bf of over a year lives around the corner in a much smaller (much crapper) house, its filled with his man things and is small.
He has a cat so doesn't want to move onto the main road with her.
He has said I am welcome to move in with him anytime and I am just feeling a) a but releived that I will get my deposit back for my house and be able to pay the rent for thus month and next but b) really sad to loose my lovely home, garden and sense of independance.
His house really is small and im at uni and will be clambering about trying to find places to fit my stuff.
I could advertise for another lidger but the chances of finding one as lovely as my current one are few.
Im just in shock really.. My bf saud he will move with me into a bigger house if ine comes up not on the main road. But who knows whwn that will be.
I just feel im being stripped of my dignity. :(

Hello, as you are having mixed thoughts about moving in with your BF, that really says to me that you are not ready yet to do this. Don't make any hasty decisions.

I think you ought to advertise for another lodger. There are lots of nice people out there, why shouldn't you get someone else just as nice?

Thanks, I am not really ready, I feel likd this is my only option cobsidering Im not really coping financially with the house, uni and trying to do part time work around it..
I do need to downsize really just untill uni's finished so it takes the pressure off me. I will just be sad to leave my lovely home all for the sake of a cat.. ( his house is only 50£ a month less than mine and its quite a challenging environment)
I do like the idea of living with sondone supportive but I feel like I'll be losing indepdndance too.

Sorry for spelling. Got iphone and too fiddly to write properly.

I didn't want to bring up your BFs cat as I know that animals are an emotive topic, but I did think that his cat would have your lovely big garden to enjoy. Is he worried that his cat will be in danger because of the road your home is on?

Yes, thanks for understanding that. She is a family member and yes, four cats have been killed on that road in the past two months..
He did suggest ages ago that his cat could move in with his current neighbour but I don't want to be the readon for that as he had had this cat for many years and he adores her (I do too!)
I just dont know what to do for thd best.

Don't for goodness sake give up your house! You clearly don't want to move into your boyfriends place so ask your boyfriend to move in with you either with the cat as a house cat or given to his neighbour. If that's a no go start advertising now for a house mate ASAP! Good luck op.

Don't move in with him if you don't want to. You don't need a lodger to be lovely, you need them to be clean and tidy and pay the rent on time. Start advertising now.

I think you'd be daft to move into his much smaller, stuff-filled house when you've only been together for a year.

Advertise now for a lodger; see who comes along, you have a couple of months to find another one. Maybe you could use the boyfriend's offer as an extreme last resort?
Also, look around for other rented properties that you could afford more easily without subletting, if there are any available.

You never know what might come up - good luck!

Reading between the lines, you sound as if you love the house but cant afford it while at Uni regardless of lodger or no lodger (?) ... and dont really want to move into small man house either (?)
If so;
A. Get new lodger to pay more than current one

B. Restructure yr finances and accept the house is worth the expense

C. Find a place thats neither yr boyfriends or this house (3 months is long enough surely depending on size of villiage)

It could be a temp measure. How much are u going to enjoy the garden in winter anyway?

When does Uni.finish?

I don't think you should ever move in with someone just because circumstances dictate.

Agreeing with others it would be a mistake to give up your independence just because you can't pay the rent. Should thing go wrong with your boyfriend you'd feel trapped. Advertise for a new lodger... if you're at uni there maybe someone willing to lift-share... cut your budget down, or look at cheaper places to live.

There aren't really any cheaper places, I stay at his house most nights anyway and come to think if it said to him last week that Im sick of house hopping all the time.
I think getting the deposit back for my house will be a financial releif for my current journey through shit creek..
Thinking now it's a bkessing in disguise and can have a lovely house when I graduate.
Thanks for all of your advise.

Sounds as if you've made your decision - I was just thinking that cats roam, and I doubt all the cats killed on your road, lived in houses on that road. But that's by the by. Good luck. I'm not a cat person so am a bit staggered that the decision about whose rental to keep, is being entirely driven by what's perceived as best for the cat.

Yes I'm swinging to your thoughts now too walkacross.
It was a big shock to find out I'd be loosing my beloved house-mate.
But now I've had time to think, I think I will stay here and get another lodger. Its a costly process moving and the money I gain from the deposit will just go on finalising bills and changing my details with all and sundry.
I think DP isn't ready for the upheaval of moving as well so just think I can live with him until we find somewhere bigger but we won't find anywhere as modern or generously laid out as my house so we'll just have to not live with each other for a while longer. ( I might be being a bit stubborn) I have 3 prospective lodgers;

1. A couple who I know, in their late thirties, very cool, chilled, hard working.
2. A lady bit of a party animal, early thirties, bit lazy but never in.
3. A lady who is thinking of leaving her husband soon.

I'm hoping No. 1 will go for it, I'll speak with her over the weekend. Awh could really do without this stress right now.