I'm the bit on the side

[BestestBrownies]

I've been seeing this guy for the last 3 months and we've been getting along great. We have been friends since February. The friendship started getting flirty around May and we first slept together in July, then started dating at the end of August.

I am only a year out of my marriage, and so told him I wasn't ready for a serious relationship, which he agreed with because he has a lot on his plate with his DS, work, unwell elderly parents and imminent divorce.

So I went over to his place on Wednesday. We had sex. I went into the bathroom and written on the mirror in lipstick were the words 'I love you, P.'

After confronting him, he admitted that he has a serious girlfriend and she knows nothing about me. Says he loves me and can we please still be friends?

I feel like such a dick.

What a prick
Who obviously thinks he can have it all
Op

I just can't believe the cheek of the bastard. And my own stupidity. Looking back, I should've guessed. But with the agreement to be casual and the 'him' I thought I knew I just trusted him

but you didn't guess, you thought he was decent. It's better to see good in people than to start suspicious. He's the dick, he wasn't worthy of you or your trust. Feeling upset if you liked him is fine, but there is nothing at all to feel bad about.

He mentioned an imminent divorce and now he has a serious girlfriend. So even before he properly divorced his wife he already has a serious girlfriend and you as well? Hope I go the facts right.

The fact is that you said you didn't want a serious relationship. I know he was wrong not to be open with you about having another woman in his life but you had already told him he wasn't the one for you.

Were you just in an affectionate post coital haze? Did you really mean you loved him? Honestly, I find it hard to believe you really truly loved him.

so it's over, yes ?

imperial op didn't say she loved him

bestest chalk it up to experience and be glad it wasn't serious

Just fuck him off. He might have been a nice interlude, but he's not a prospect for the future. Or even the present.

I liked him a lot. He told me he was single. We had agreed to date exclusively but not be serious as I was not long out of my marriage and he had 'a lot on his plate'. The idea being to support each other and have fun and see where it goes.

Imperial I don't love him, but I did trust him. I would never willingly enter into the role of OW. I have been on the receiving end of a partner's infidelity and would never be a part of inflicting that pain on anyone.

I just feel like such a mug for being taken in so totally by his charm. I thought we were friends. I thought he was a decent guy.

I know I shouldn't feel this way, but my self-confidence has been really knocked by this. I was propositioned by a married man a few weeks ago too . Is there something about me that these attached men seem to think I'll be up for it or what? Or are there just a lot fewer decent men out there than I dare to imagine?

So if you don't love him, why this? "I went into the bathroom and written on the mirror in lipstick were the words 'I love you, P.'"

She didn't write it, she saw it written there - by the "serious girlfriend"

She didn't write it!

Op didn't write "I love you". His girlfriend did.

So his serious GF wrote that on the mirror and he didn't visit the bathroom before you came round for sex? Jeez, did you pass her on the driveway even? Cheeky bastard!

Feel sorry for you. Your man is an @r$£.

He wants his cake and eat it.

Step back, take stock and learn from it. Then move on.

So sorry, I misread that. I thought she had written it. That will teach me not to drink and post. Get rid of him. He's a complete bastard!

Destroy the bastard

Get rid of him. He doesn't deserve your time or attention. Hope you are feeling better soon and meet a really nice guy.

"Or are there just a lot fewer decent men out there than I dare to imagine?"

There are a huge amount of people that will say whatever it takes to get a shag. Sadly they don't wear t-shirts saying 'I'm a two-timing arse biscuit' and IME a little thing like being married doesn't check their stride either ... that's just the luck of the draw. No reflection on you.

Of course he could have written it himself as a cowardly way of ending it with you.

He might be doing the same with her! Maybe he's told her he has a serious GF?

I don't think I'd call yourself the OW. You are one of possibly many women he is dating. None of you know whether you are 'the one' any more than the other.

I'd be suspicious of writing on a mirror when any man with half a brain would have wiped it off........

in any case, bin him.

str8tothepoint: Destroy the bastard

I love it when a username and a post come together like that!