So my husband had an affair earlier this year. He came clean, ended it with OW, and since then we have been working hard on rebuilding our marriage. It has been going well for the most part. He is trying really hard. After an initial email from him to her saying that it was over, she sent one email basically saying farewell and how much she'll miss him etc. I saw both emails. There have been none since. I am VERY confident of that.
Part of the issue I had when he told me about the affair was that this was someone from the same company as him, but in a different office (abroad and very far from us). So although he doesn't see her, they are on shared email distribution lists, shared clients etc. Which to me would keep her top of mind. He has been looking for other jobs to get away from her altogether but there are very few at his level so I always knew it would take a while.
Anyway, this week he spent the week in London due to a big client event. When he got to the place he usually stays at, there was a handwritten letter in a fedex envelope waiting for him. She went on for about 12 pages talking about how much she missed him. In short, I think she was trying to see if she could rekindle it. She purposefully sent it that way so that I wouldn't be able to find it via seeing his emails (which he has made clear to her I have full access to).
My husband brought it home with him and showed me the letter. We discussed the best course of action. We agreed that he should send a short reply to her via email (which I will see) saying that he does not want her to contact him again.
I know that this will be the most likely thing to stop her getting in touch - each time she does it brings it all back to the surface again. But part of me is desperate to send her an email telling her exactly what I think of her. How dare she pursue him again when he has told her it is over and that he is focusing on his marriage? She had the gall to apologise for causing huge distress in his life but then immediately suggests that she'd like them back together.
I know that no good can come of me emailing her. I will simply then wait for a reply from her or start up a row and basically invite her back into our lives. But damn it is hard not to.
Sorry - just needed to get that off my chest. Perhaps I should write her the letter I'd like to write her and then never send it....