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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I could do with some advise?!

2 replies

Frogit · 23/11/2013 09:30

I will try and keep it short and sweet but it's a little complicated please bare with me ...
I've been with my hubby 10 years, married for 5, we have 2 dc, before getting married I had a fling a last chance while not married thing and regretted it but it was buried deep and tbh I had forgotten it ever happened. I had various problems during our time together including miscarriages and almost dying following a ruptured ectopic pregnancy.
After having my 2nd child I thought dh was having an affair and shared feelings with him and my family and friends, they all made me feel like I was going crazy but plodded on with my dc and the demands of my new born, 6 months later I found out I was right and the paranoia was correct!
He had been having an affair with woman from work, he blamed me as he found out a about my fling before getting married. A year went by and we 'dealt' with the fall out, this was uncomfortable and very difficult. Especially as he still works with this woman!
Then almost a year to the date I found out about his first affair I found explicit photos of another woman from his work! I kicked him out and we separated for 4/5months he moved out while I tried to deal with it.
In that time he remained a great dad. But he was a broken man and almost killed himself, he got help with counselling etc

I have many friends and all said I was better of rid...but I let him back and we tried again.
Now what is my problem, well it's that time of the year again( when I found out twice!) I have had some mega changes at work causing mega stress, my close male friend (who h hated) committed suicide last week, money is tight and I worry about buying christmas presents etc when we have no money to spare every month but my h doesn't seem to worry, my car is dying and my sex drive has gone completely!
So now I have h asking constantly you ok? god snap out of it! Mainly because I say I'm dealing with it in my own way. He feels like I don't love him because I don't want sex.
I'm at my wits end and I feel that I'm teetering on the edge. I just want to plod on and deal with it slowly and how I need to, but he doesn't get it!
But how do I get him to see that?

OP posts:
TwoDays · 23/11/2013 12:32

I'm so sorry that your friend has died. You have a lot to deal with at the moment; be kind to yourself. Is there someone in RL you can talk to?

Matildathecat · 23/11/2013 13:41

Poor you, that's a lot of grief and stress. Hardly surprising you aren't gagging for sex. Hope you're ok.

Do you feel as if a chat with your GP might help? You do sound very low.x

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