Do you ever tell the next woman ?

[pookyandponky]

Simply that really.
Do you even tell the next woman he's a lying cheating b***d?

He going back to her after leaving her. We met in the middle so to speak.
He has told me when he goes back he just wants to carry on with me!!!!
That's why I was wondering.
(Obviously I'm not going to carry on)

WTF? They Make you laugh no? Sorry OP, really hope you step out of the game. Sorry he treated you badly. Here's a hug

I probably couldn't be bothered tbh. She will find out herself soon enough and that's good enough for me.

I wouldn't and I didn't. She knows who she got and loves him any way.

OP, would have believed a ("bitter") ex when you first took up with this man ?

Save your energy for yourself.

would you

I'd only say something if she got in touch and asked.

There were times towards the end of my last relationship where I wanted to speak to his ex-wife about his behaviour, as I realised the (nasty) picture he'd painted of her was probably completely untrue and I was starting to see his abusive behaviour for what it was.

Ex now has new girlfriend and I briefly contemplated sending her a message warning her to look out for all the red flags he showed with me. Of course I didn't, because he would have painted me as a madwoman, and because I wouldn't have listened to a similar email from his ex-wife.

She'll find out soon enough. Unless (and I hope this is the case) he has had a massive personality transplant or decided to change his ways.

Nope. My ex cheated with a 'friend' of mine and I really did consider telling his new girlfriend how much of a cunt he was but decided it wasn't worth the drama and moved on.

If the man was abusive, it's different. But chances are, by the time we'd get to hear about her, our image/history'd be totally different to reality.

They'd be hooked, and would never believe us anyway.

Remember, one of the Reg Flags is when the 'Ex is a fucking psycho' line is trotted out.

Only when he starts to abuse her, might something we've alluded to pop into her head.

I was warned once by someone and I didn't think she was deranged or bitter.

It probably made a difference that I knew her anyway as she was a colleague, as was the manipulative little sh*t she was warning me about.

I think it was about 4 months in to our relationship and I had almost disappeared under the sea of red flags that were already waving. I knew.

I wasn't strong enough to dump him at the time, but I did eventually.

I think she was incredibly brave to have done it and I thanked her for it, later.

I wish my ex p's ex had warned me. Might have saved 10 years of heartache.

he might be v unhappy with current/ ex woman but mad about the next one

So, OP, are you saying he's going back to his wife and kids and you are the OW?

That's not quite what you put in your original post, is it?

And no, I do not think you should say anything unless there are children who are at risk.

Plus if what you mean is that she is his ex and he's going back to her having already left her once (or they split up) then presumably she already knows what he's like.

Move on. :)

No I wasn't and am not going to be the ow. But he wants it that way.
Lol

"Lol"?

If I didn't laugh I'd cry. He was single when we met. But now wants to get back with his ex and still see me. I've cried enough about it and so am trying to laugh.

I personally think that if someone is really abusive that you should, in a neutral way. As long as you have the strength to be painted as the bitter ex (but then, he's going to paint you that way anyway isnt he? ) and as long as it isnt going to unbalance you as you're rebuilding your life. That most of all.

But, keep it neutral. Even cold. Factual with a couple of warning signs. They won't listen right there and then but if someone becomes abusive later, then it may help them make the break. Pretty much that it might stick in the back of their mind, much like hissy and diagonally said. I absolutely hate seeing people ground down and destroyed when something you say can maybe make a bit of difference.