Breakdowns

[JellyNump]

At the end of 2004 fil had a 'breakdown', thought mil was having an affair with a bloke they'd gone to dinner with, wrote a note and left. No one knew where he was for about 1-2 weeks and then one day he turned up at pil house again like nothing had happened. (dh had spoken to him on the phone) mil had been beside herself, everyone really worried etc. dh was talking about this the other day and said he thought his grandad had also done this, so thinks it might 'run in the family' and he warned me it might happen to him when he's older!!! he didn't understand why i wasn't so 'understanding' when he told me this... lucky me, i get this to look forward to??

I'd say that sort of behaviour only "runs in the family" as a learned behaviour between the generations rather than anything inevitable or genetic!

Does your dh have a tendency to run away from problems rather than confront them?

What a sad story. Sounds like your DH has been thoughtful, thinking about your FIL's life story without judging him - perhaps talking to your DH more about it would help? Maybe he's worried it's a sign of mental illness [in FIL], and it's his way of telling you how worried he is about it?

No he's not worried about it, it was more of a 'well my grandad did it, dad has done it, so i'll probably do it when i get to that age' as if it was just like going out to get the paper or something. he's not worried, he's 'expecting' it i think.

he doesn't seem to run away from problems as such, either someone else is left to sort them out or if its something he doesnt like, he just ignores it.

the family are prone to exaggerating their 'problems' and are quite 'dramatic'!

Then perhaps it is learned behaviour, as Reginald said - have you asked him why he thinks he has to repeat what they have done? Loyalty?