Alpha Female... Gamma Male.... Can it ever work?

[LadyToothache]

My Mum read a great article about this. She was meant to get me a copy and can't find it now!

Basically it was about when an 'Alpha' female has a relationship with a 'gamma' male (tempted to write 'gammy' there lol).

It described to amzing accuracy the problems that H and I had from the start.

ME: Strong minded, career driven, pro-active

H: Weak willed, easily led, not bothered about achieving much, happy to go along with whatever I suggested..... didn't want to do anything without being pushed.

Resulted in: Resentment (from both sides), a complete lack of respect on my part.

Eventually resulting in him hating me for being the main-breadwinner (even though he had no desire to be!!).... resenting me for coping with our 2nd child when I fell apart with PND after the 1st (which he hated me for coz I couldn't deal with everything).

SO.... apparently I need an Alpha male! Sounds good!!!

Any thoughts about the general issue.

BUUUUUUUMMMMMMP!

Would like to help - but you have lost me here!!

Totally agree. I suspect some strong women have a tendency to mother/fix up weaker males without thinking about it too much. Presumable hoping to correct any weaknesses. When the fixer upper then fails to evolve into an alpha male strong women gradually despises weak male leading to realtionship implode.

Been there down that.

Can also be related any failure in the realationship with the Father, i.e. woman attempts to replay relationship hoping for a more successful outcome.

Had a few fixer uppers vowed never again single for ages then met DH an alpha male if ever I saw one and we are madly in love still 8 years later.

but an alpha couple would fight over who is the boss. you'd be trapped in a power struggle for possession of the trousers.

No fighting here! Fortunately we seem to have naturally pretty defined areas of decision making and neither of us cause a ruck for the sake of having our say.

ooo been there, done that too! when i realised he was a gamma male, and not stepping up to the plate i couldn't get away fast enough. he still bleatingly emails me occasionally even though we broke up 9 years ago.

i went out and got myself an alpha male. now we have our acknowledged alpha-areas and bump along quite happily.

I'd go for a beta male. not so hopeless he irritates you, but slightly charmingly inferior to you..??

Or just go for an alpha male who is not a twat (unfortunately quite rare).

There was an excellent article in one of the Sunday magazines (Daily Express) about this a few weeks back. Seem to recall there's also been a recent article written about this subject in the Mail as well.

As you say such a relationship, whilst okay in the early stages, just ended up causing resentment on both sides. The couple that was mentioned in the article married and broke up a couple of years later.

She went on to realise that she was trying to rescue him.

I think that might be us now... Never wanted to be an alpha anything but DH is most definitely gamma-ish in most departments so I sort of took up the slack

I'm SO happy DH is laid back & easy going. I tend to let things get to me, stress out, get wound up, want to smash crockery & punch walls. Cue big cuddle from DH, talk about how we're going to sort it, happy Iklboo..

On the other hand - come home from work to find no bottles for DS made, washing piled up, washing up in sink etc when he's been off all can CAN be a little annoying...

Some people are never happy