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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Am I just being a bit daft about thinking of contacting him?

23 replies

alittlebitfedup · 21/11/2013 18:12

Not long ago I started a thread about how a guy I had been seeing for a short while had not really made any effort to see me. I subsequently ended it.

The thread is here He won't make the effort to see me

I have had a bit of a bad day and need a cuddle. For some reason I'm thinking of contacting him. Somedays you see, I feel like I've done the right thing by ending it, other days I think I've been too hasty and have made a mistake.

I think I would regret contacting him because if he didn't reciprocate I would feel even worse than I do now. Like since we've split he has not contacted me at all, and I had contacted him after I split - I had rung him up to see if he was willing to chat a few days after I ended it and he said that he didn't want to as he was tired and had an early morning.

I know its the wrong thing for me to do. I think I need some mumsnetters to kick me to my senses!

OP posts:

MistAllChuckingFrighty · 21/11/2013 18:13

I suggest you get "doormat" tattooed on your forehead if you do this.

LineRunner · 21/11/2013 18:15

Please just leave him dumped.

We will all give you a cuddle instead.

WhoNickedMyName · 21/11/2013 18:15

He's really not in to you.

Stop making a nuisance of yourself to him and call someone else instead.

Only1scoop · 21/11/2013 18:17

I recall your prev post....if he has not contacted you with an explanation and apologised for his huge lack of interest I really wouldn't bother. Don't think he's worthy of your time.

ParsleyTheLioness · 21/11/2013 18:18

Step away from the phone....

ToTheTeeth · 21/11/2013 18:18

Leave it, for god's sake. He wasn't interested then, he's not been interested while you've been apart. What on earth do you think is going to change? Except for you going from strong and sorted in his eyes to needy?

Poogate · 21/11/2013 18:20

Don't contact him. You will hate yourself afterwards. Hold onto your pride and dignity, they are precious commodities.

Be strong. Delete his contact details, Facebook, everything; delete him from your life and properly move on. He is not the person who will provide a loving cuddle or kind words to help you get over your bad day, if you want to contact someone, makes that person someone who actually gives a shit.

Good luck

Joysmum · 21/11/2013 18:23

In a nutshell, you want a cuddle, you don't want him.

LineRunner · 21/11/2013 18:29

We could contact him for you?

hashtagwhatever · 21/11/2013 18:31

if he was bothered he would have been in contact himself. delete his number already.

Optimist1 · 21/11/2013 18:34

No, OP, you're not being a little bit daft; you're being VDI (Very Daft Indeed)!

Scarletohello · 21/11/2013 18:40

I suggest you read these:

Why men love Bitches

Baggage Reclaimed website.

Both will explain to you why it's a really bad idea to contact him ( tho I understand why you want to)

Good luck!

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 21/11/2013 18:41

He hasn't responded to your recent effort to talk, please forget him. He wasn't able or prepared to offer you more when you were officially seeing each other so he's unlikely to lift a finger now. Don't chase him.

DontLetTheMugglesGetYouDown · 21/11/2013 18:48

You will feel soo much worse if you call him and he continues to be a knobber. I suggest you get one of these instead.

TheNewSchmoo · 21/11/2013 18:49

You really have my sympathy. I was unceremoniously dumped 2 weeks ago and want to contact him so badly. I am trying to think "he dumped me, if he thinks he has made a mistake he has to see it for himself and contact me", but I would be lying if I said it was easy. I am currently fighting the urge to go to bed just so that another day is over and hopefully tomorrow it will hurt a little less. Stay strong. I'm sending you a virtual hug so you don't need one off him!

Lavenderhoney · 21/11/2013 19:31

Don't do it! Especially don't drunk and dial.

Arrange to see friends and go out at the weekend instead. Somewhere loud and fun, no sitting around talking about him. If no one is available make plans anyway. Look round a stately home or something random. Take up british military fitness classes?

And delete him off your phone. No good will come of it.

Lavenderhoney · 21/11/2013 19:33

Oh, and its horrible to feel the way you do. But it will pass.

Corygal · 21/11/2013 19:33

Ew, don't. You'll get nowt from him and you'll hate yourself.

BobaFetaCheese · 21/11/2013 19:36

Don't do it...delete his number.

Tell us about your crap day instead

EirikurNoromaour · 21/11/2013 19:56

Don't be ridiculous. He's clearly not into you. Don't make a fool of yourself.

Original poster

alittlebitfedup · 21/11/2013 20:01

I've deleted his number and text thread from my phone over a week ago but I know that I will be able to find it through itemised billing....

I definitely don't want to ring him, I know I would just feel slightly humiliated and rejected when he so obviously will not want to know. I'm just being a bit of a knob just thinking it about it and am clearly having a bit of a wobble.

Basically, Boba, my day has been like this. I had a very disrupted sleep due to DD being restless and kept waking me up for cuddles. We had an early start out of the door anyway so am quite tired. Found out a very good and close friend of mine has been diagnosed with a severe liver condition (and this comes about 6 months after she had been diagnosed with another, unrelated serious illness - so am very upset for her about this ). I am a student and have a deadline today to complete an assignment that I have hardly done anything too! Because I am tired and stressed and upset, this then brings up memories of other crappy times in my life (notably my last job when I was pregnant and being badly bullied). So a bit of a shit day. I have had my DD with me all day and her typical 2 year old behaviour has been very exhausting - the constant whinging, needing me to "watch" her play or doing repetitive things for her enjoyment. Love her to bits but boy she can be hard work! Hence I want a hug.

Appreciate the kick up the bum to awaken me to my senses everyone! Think if I did/had contacted him I'd of made a shitty day even shittier...

OP posts:

BobaFetaCheese · 21/11/2013 20:11

Ahh, you've had a really rubbish day...little victory in deleting his number though (are you likely to try and contact him off itemised?).

Sorry to hear about your friends condition, sounds like a truly shit situation for her to be in, could you pop over and see her at the weekend or send her a lovely text now about what a fantastic friend she is?

Is there any movement on the assignment deadline?

Is DD sleeping now? My 2-next-month yr old has also been very exhausting after an early start today so know what you're going through on that one.

Original poster

alittlebitfedup · 21/11/2013 21:01

Yes a very rubbish day!

I think I'm only likely to contact him off my itemised bill if I am really desperate/drunk...

Have sent her a message telling her how much she means to me, and that has made me feel a bit better.

Just completed assignment but not 100% happy with it, but at least its done.

DD is asleep now. Don't feel quite so much like I want to contact him but really crave a cuddle!

OP posts:

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