dnt know wat to do should i split up with her

[connorandmaddiesmom]

I recently split up with my partner as she accused me if cheating on her with my best friend (who is also like my sister).we got back together because we missed each other so much .but even though i love her to bits it just doesn't feel right anymore.my children love her so much so i dont want to hurt them or her,i just dnt know what to do for the best .

How long ago did you go back?

If very recently, I'd try and give it some time to see if you can reconnect, but you'll probably need to talk a lot about what happened.

There is also the possibility that you are sensing that it's not right for her either. So, I think you need to talk to her about these feelings if you are to have a chance of making it work. Or it may be that she feels the same and you decide to separate.

If cheating accusations have been flying around then there is a loss of trust on both sides. Its possible to get over it but some people just can't recover their trust/love in this situation. There's not really a yes or no answer.

If it doesn't feel right then you can keep on giving it a go for a while or you can leave. Your children will want a happy mum & not one who sacrifices her happiness for them.

We got back together about a month ago and was ok for first week maybe. She tells me everyday how much she loves me and i also love her too .I just feel something is missing and dnt know why she would think i would ever cheat on her .Maybe i feel like this because she distrusted me and now i feel uncomfortable when my friend comes around to visit because i dnt want my partner to think i am up to anything .

We got back together about a month ago and was ok for first week maybe. She tells me everyday how much she loves me and i also love her too .I just feel something is missing and dnt know why she would think i would ever cheat on her .Maybe i feel like this because she distrusted me and now i feel uncomfortable when my friend comes around to visit because i dnt want my partner to think i am up to anything .

Yes, it can be as awful losing trust as having someone else not trusting us.

I think you need to act with your friend as you have always done, and if she still distrusts you, then it's her problem.

It seems that you haven't actually resolved the issue of cheating/not being trusted and just swept it under the carpet of not wanting to be without each other. You do need to sort out that issue. Perhaps couples counselling, if you can't talk about it spontaneously?

I do try and act the same around my friend bt i just feel paranoid now that she will think something is going on .My friend doesn't seem to come around so often now which is sad .I try and talk to my partner all the time about it but like you say she just tries to push it under the carpet and says she never wants to lose me again.she has been cheated on before so think counselling maybe the best way forward .thank you Lweji

My doubts about my hubby aren't about me not trusting him, they come at points when I have the least confidence in myself and wonder why the hell he loves me when he could be with anyone. Could this apply to your girlfriend? If so, romance her and leave her in no doubt as to how much and why you love her.

Joysmum,i constantly tell her how much i love her but am not very good at showing affection ,maybe that what the trouble is .I also have confidence issues which my partner helps me with but i would never accuse her of such a thing because i love and trust her .I am sure your husband chose you as his wife because he knew you were right for him ,maybe we all should start appreciating ourselves a little more than we do atm .