Ok I'm trying to keep this as condensed as poss, but sorry if it drags on. I already typed a massive essay to find i'd been logged out :(
Husband changed into a workaholic big head. I did everything at home, looked after our 2 kids etc so he could further his career. He slowly took me and more for granted and things became pretty strained and we were in a rut. End of April he tells me he doesn't love me. I ask if it's someone else and he denied it. His dad carts him to the drs and he gets out on anti depressants as we all notice there's something very wrong.
He continues to treat me worse, not even speaking to me and comes off his tablets after a week! I ask him to move out but try to reassure him I'm not wanting to break up with him and still want to try work out what's going on, I just hoped he could get his head straight and have a but of space. He moves into his brothers. A week later announces on Facebook we've split! He came round when he wasn't on shift to see the kids and have tea. He'd have a bath dump his dirty clothes in the basket and ignore me and the kids and watch tv. Then he'd go. After trying to get him to speak to me he became nasty one night I called him a name and broke down, he just stormed out. I looked on his Facebook and found out he'd being seeing someone at work. I confronted him and he tried to deny it until I mentioned her name.
He tried to explain to his family he thought it would work with her ( I'm very close to his family and they instantly laid into him). I found out from my friend about the content of the messages as he deleted them so I couldn't see the ones on his phone, she managed to get him to hand over his phone. He asked her to run away with him and leave her partner (she's as bad as him) and also after he key her know I knew he told her he regretted nothing. Along with feeding her horrible things about me which are simply untrue!
I told him the way he'd treated me seemed plain he had no respect and had thrown everything I'd sacrificed over the years in my face so divorce was all I could see as the answer. I was so hurt, I lost over a stone in 5 days and all he said was I looked better for it! I looked like the living dead! Within a few days he came hands and knees begging me to take him back, he realised he wax going to lose everything, on closer interrogation he didn't want to lose the house or miss the kids but he still didn't love me. I let him sleep on the sofa got a few days and then he moved into his sisters after our sons birthday.
I then started sorting everything out to get a divorce and financial matters. He started being nice and when he came over to hand tea with the kids he would help wash up, I thought it was odd but I guessed it was guilty conscience and it seemed when she found out I knew about them she didn't seem so interested!
I began to feel a bit better and begun to come to terms with the fact our marriage had failed but I'd find someone in the future. For that time I was happy to be a singleton again.
Husband found out is been texting an old friend and hut the roof, the old friend had a girlfriend and we were just catching up after he heard on the grapevine what husband had done. He accused me of being as bad if not worse than him and basically trying to make out we were on equal turf! Totally baffled I to him as far as I was aware we were divorcing and if anything had been going on it was none of his business, he then explained he was being nice because he wanted to get back with me! I told him it wasn't going to happen because I couldn't forgive him.
The next day he attempted to throw himself under a train! He spent the next 3 weeks in a unit during the day, and another 3 attempts later and an almost diagnosis for bipolar later he now apparently loves me so much and is so sorry.
I can't accept his illness as an excuse for what he did to me. As much as I have tried and been told his behaviour is. I know there's a chance he could go all Dr Jekyll on my again at some point and I can't go through all that again or I could well be in that unit myself. It's killed me to see the kids have to watch their dad deteriorate as he did and the toll it had on them. I love husband but I don't know if I have the strength any more :(