my il's are pretty good really. nice and kind, but are probably quite self-centred if i'm honest. mil is really amazing, but she is elderly and i want her to have a relaxing Christmas and not have to worry about a thing.
my bil and sil come to visit about once a month and stay with mil, but come to ours for most meals so that mil doesn't have to cook / shop. happy to do this. we enjoy their company and they are the only family our kids see regularly. we get invited back once a year on average. also fine. we are quite a handful.
sil has asked what they can contribute for Christmas this year. They (bil, sil and mil) are staying for two days. she's thinking pudding / crackers but what i would really appreciate is just helping with the work load! help clear the table, clear up their stuff, make a cup of tea. this is what i do when i go to theirs. when i have asked them to help in the past it's been very half-hearted and short-lived.
so just for once given that she's asked, i'd like them to give me a bit of a hand.
how can i word it without causing issues and making them feel like this is what i'm always thinking (true 
)? i really don't want to cause any ill feeling. i'd actually rather they came and did nothing than not come at all.
so is it better to:
a) ask up front for a bit of help. maybe defined tasks that i can pretend are fun (setting table).
b) ask for help on the day.
c) just tell dh to sort his family out. (i will be strongly implicated. i know this from bitter experience.)
d) just suck it up
e) drink a bottle of gin and pass out.