Should I pick this battle? (IL related), bit long

[mumaa]

The details are petty but ts the principal i would like your views please.

We don't give DD (15 months) chocolate or juice of any kind. My MIL and her parents (her and FIL are divorced so he doesn't feature in this instance) think this is "ridiculous" and "wouldn't do her any harm". We are not saying never, just not right now (ideally not until she is at least 2).

Yesterday, when i was out with a friend granparents in law came over (i suggested DH call them and invite them over so knew they would be here), when i get home DH tells me they brought white chocolate buttons and gave DD 2 buttons while he was in kitchen making teas. DH took the packet away and replaced with a bowl of raisins. He said nothing was said.

I am annoyed that they have deliberately gone against our wishes. They don't have to agree with us but we have specifically asked of all of our family that they not give her chocolate or juice. They have brought chocolate round for her before and we have always managed to get the packet away before it is open, they haven't brought any for a while as my DH got very angry with them the last time they brought some round.

So, do I say something when i see them next or leave it be? We are all going away to a family function,in a couple of months which will involve sharing accommodation, i don't want to spend our first mini holiday as a family battling over buttons. Like i say, its the principal that they are purposefully ignoring our wishes that is the issue to me, not the fact of what it is.

Should have known her love of raisins could not be a good thing... Think those in the house may be her last batch given all the comments on here

horse hope you enjoyed that egg!

INMO and from mine experience never let anyone dictate what your child can eat

Maybe just try tell them firmly that you disagree with their behaviour especially going against your will

I think it sounds like you are setting yourself up for a long hard battle here but maybe a polite reminder about her skin and a laugh at yourself a little bit might help. Don't go in all guns blazing.

It was 2 chocolate buttons, from some loving great grandparents. I think it would be extremely petty to make an issue of this.

So youre now going to ban raisins? From the comments on sugar content from here?

Just be honest. You didn't want her to have chocolate because of the sugar and her teeth, and you weren't gracious enough to allow elderly grandparents, great grandparents, to give her a few buttons that wouldn't kill her.

FFS.

Tbf Squirted, it's the OP's choice & nobody else's what to feed her child!

squirted Apologies that there is not a tongue in cheek one on the smiley list!

I was given a list of foods to avoid until she is approx 2, chocolate was on there, if I didn't want her having sugar I would say so. And that would extend to the other treats she is allowed that contain sugar.

horse I get that. Really I do. Absolutely her decision. But, big but, if my grandmother in her 90's had visited and produced a bag of buttons for DS I would have given him one to please her and him. One button, really? I answered OPs question. Not a battle I would pick.

OP, fair enough, but can't see why you've not been advised to avoid fresh fruit if it's sugar content.

squirted it is not to do with the sugar content. I was saying that IF it sugar was a concern i would say. I was told ideally to avoid giving her eggs, nuts, chocolate, citrus fruit and cows milk. Though was told to give her the cows milk an monitor her skin. That has been fine, we avoid the other things as was advised by doc.

Like i said on OP its actually not about what they are giving her rather,than they are purposefully ignoring out requests and have been for months. I wouldn't allow friends to do, i don't want to allow great grandparents to do it just because they are in their 70s, my gran is in her 80s and manages to ask if she can give her this or that. The answer is usually yes as its not the one food we've asked she does not have.

i was considering having a chat about it before we go away incase they come armed with chocolate. Its not nice for us to be 'boring' and say no constantly either.

The thing is, you agree to 'just one' to keep the peace & if they're like my MIL, 'just one' becomes 'just one more' until it's the whole packet.

I think the older generation were used to more family input when they had their DC than happens these days, so think they have 'ownership' of GC & can ride roughshod over the parent's wishes. That was certainly the impression I got from my MIL.

at least the raisins count towards her 5 a day...

I think they should be abiding by the rules you have put in place for your daughter even if they think they are unreasonable. I wish I'd been firmer with my 2 regarding water. Neither of them drink it if they can help it.