cross cultural relationships; what are issues and how do you handle it?

[professorgrommit]

I have had two ltr one with japanese man for 10 years and one marriage (now divorce) with south american. There was another thread about handling the in laws in cross cultural relationships and I was wondering if anyone want to share from the dreadful to the funny?
I think for me funniest was mil thought I was not sexy or glam. No big boobs (mil suggests surgery and fed me fattening foods all the time) and too white (yes tanning suggested) and just a sad lack of leopard skin in my wardrobe. Her poor son!...
Sadest was asian mil (otherwise a very kind lady) who thought I had responsibility to care for elderly in laws and stopped us marrying because of it...
Worst was acceptance of dv as just what men do... Anyone one flying out of south america to the us may have seen the big sign at customs saying "drugs and beating your wife are crimes in the united states".

Oh yes reminds of when I dated a french michilen starred rated chef. So tempremental and indeed breathtakingly rude to me just french ti him. Would have ended it sooner but have to admit, food was fab!
Oh and my aunt was minister in helen whatshername government (no bs!) But can't out myself to say nz women are fiesty and I like it!

I feel strangely lucky, as DH (Japanese) and I don't seem to have too many problems with cultural things. I always swore, from my image of Japanese men and some that I dated, that I would never marry a Japanese man, but we don't come across that many cultural issues (bags of other issues though!) I have his mum to thank, she raised her sons to help around the house, support the family etc so he is great with cooking, housework and childcare. She doesn't have any expectations of me as a DIL, just to be happy and take no crap from him

I was worried about his attitudes to prostitution etc but he thinks it's awful, and thinks Japanese men can be very scary (and skebe!). Also, he can't hold his alcohol..

The language barrier is more of an issue as when we're both tired we can't work out what we're talking about. Dance and interpretive mime features heavily

Happy to report he has never stolen my underwear..

OP maybe you attract strange men when you travel? All your men seem to fit stereotypes.

Tbh your post was a bit patronising and its funny that you called some posters racists.

# Laquitar

To be honest I thought 'here we go again' when I read this post. It did come across as patronising although I can't work out if you meant it to be or not, OP. Reading through thread I can see that issues mentioned re. non-western men are also rife in the UK; DV being the main. Having 'laws' in place is a good thing but its still a menace that hasn't gone away.

There are always going to be cultural differences in mixed relationships but I doubt anyone going into one would then be wide-eyed with surprise that things aren't done the western way. There'd surely be no expectation that there wouldn't be differences?

Where I'm from respect for elders in the community - not just elders in your immediate family - is a very big deal. I wish it were like that over here.

Still some valid points made on thread here and there tho. Although not having had the Sense Of Humour Bypass Operation as yet, I can't fathom why Cogito was pulled up for making a funny/tongue in cheek comment which was really about dropping the stereotyping,and celebrating differences. The message was in there somewhere