Trouble processing some disturbing news.

[TheCatThatSmiled]

I saw this last week (sorry daily mail link).i'm posting mainly to help me process it. i've spoken to DH, but no one else - finding it difficult to find the words tbh.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2250015/Worst-case-groping-GP-Ive-seen-40-years-Judges-attack-doctor-fondled-breasts-patient-injured-wrist-jails-11-years.html

He was my doctor 20 odd years ago. He groped me, after an internal. When I was pregnant. Just reached over as I sat up and squeezed my right breast and commented that I'd have no trouble breast feeding. The internals didn't feel right. Not brisk and business like (as subsequent ones have been), and I'm sure he didn't wear gloves. He gave me an internal on every single visit.

My first pregnancy, I thought that was normal. It's not, is it? The groping happened the last time I saw him.

I just sat there. I didn't say anything or do anything. I never told anyone. And I've spent the last 20 odd years, every so often wondering 'did that really happen?'. I was so young.

I changed doctors shortly after, because i didn't feel right about it. And somehow ashamed. From what I read I got off lightly. Hes in jail now, with a 11 year sentence.

I feel a bit sick, and I'm not sure how to process this. Its was so long ago, and on one hand I'm relieved that I wasn't imagining things, on the other - why the fuck didn't I say anything?!

Mainly I just feel sick.

Also - should I report it now? Is there any point?

sorry working link

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2250015/Worst-case-groping-GP-Ive-seen-40-years-Judges-attack-doctor-fondled-breasts-patient-injured-wrist-jails-11-years.html

It's not your fault that it happened and not your fault that you didn't say anything to anybody - given circumstances, that's understandable. Ask for counseling through NHS if you feel you need help to process it?

I would feel a moral obligation to report your incident - even though it happened such a long time ago. It's so that to help others who were affected and prevent this from happening in the future (not likely any time soon! but still....).

I am very sorry this happened to you. This man violated your body and your trust. I am sending big hugs to you. Would you feel comfortable contacting Rape Crisis? I don't know where you are, but you can google the number. I have had excellent experience with their warm, knowledgeable staff. They can perhaps help you begin to process the assault. Xx

Thanks for your responses, and hugs :) Its so late i wasn't expecting anyone to read until the morning :)

I think I will ring 101, I've done a bit more looking up and it appears he's appealed his sentence (unsuccessfully) but no doubt appeal again. He was successful in appealing compensation that he was supposed to pay to some of his victims that came forward. The money is not the issue, but it wasn't huge amount (and his house in Hatfield was huge, and he owned several properties as well as the practice! ) and I doubt it would make much of a dint in his bank balance.

It appears he also pleaded not guilty during the trail, so forced those poor women to go through with describing in court what he had done to them, complete bastard. There seems to be no remorse or shame. The only thing his lawyer said was about the end of his life being ruined. Tough fucking luck. Bastard. No wonder he got 11 years.

ok, I think I'm starting to get angry ... I bet there are a hell of a lot more women out there hes done this to.

It really is hard to deal with this sort of stuff- rape crisis is a great idea, and so is just talking and talking it through with your husband.

I had a sort of similar experience a few years ago, when I saw the photo of a bloke I'd dated briefly who idolised me and was almost off-puttingly respectful on the front page of the nationals for being a sadistic sexual psychopath who had tortured and attempted to murder escort girls in the same house I'd stayed at. He's in prison now, indefinitely.

Weird as fuck. Properly freaked me out, but I talked it through with DP, and it really helpful.

jesus - some of them were kids. 14. Just 14 years old. I wasn't much older at 19, but at least I was an technically an adult.

BOF! How shocking and terrible for you! So heartbreaking many of us have had to deal with sexual abuse..

Horribly traumatic- so sorry you had to go through that

Glenshee, BOF, I will call rape crisis tomorrow, it a good idea. DH has been just lovely (although he's asleep at the moment). He's a good listener. And feeds me wine and chocolate at appropriate moments.

I'm so not the person I was then, I was rather shy and very naive. Am a mouthy so and so now.

God, I want to punch him. I need to stop reading. How can anyone BE like that? I just don't understand the mentality.

TheCat, I won't go into details, but I was assaulted while having a massage. I was so stunned I felt unable to speak. I also questioned whether it really was abuse or just a mistake. I kept asking my BFF over and over again if the massage therapist could have just somehow slipped.. She convinced me to call Rape Crisis. They listened, they believed, they started my healing...

Btw, I was 32, abuse knows no age..

I'm so sorry Secret, that's so bad. And BOF. And again, someone in a position of trust. Taking advantage when you are in a vulnerable situation.

You know, I like most people. But some sick, twisted, downright evil ones just don't deserve to breath the same air.

I had this happen to me. I was 13.

Any person, man or woman, who behaves inappropriately towards someone who is vulnerable (by age or lack of experience) is an abuser. It does not matter that you were 13, or 19, or 26, 36 or any age until death, it is very reasonable to trust a qualified professional who has a duty of care. You are not guilty of ignorance, naivety, or stupidity. You are not responsible for his actions, which continued before and after what he did to you.

Being taken advantage of in this situation is not being weak or mindless. You have nothing to be ashamed of. The most powerful advantage the other person has is the element of surprise and your respect.

If it's okay to take advantage of trust and respect, then let's all go out and beat up grandma. Clearly, it's not okay.

I know this as an adult. I do not beat up grandmas. I think that makes me quite normal and reasonable.

Tonight, you've encountered some news which will take a little time to process. On the one hand: it's independent recognition that what he did was not alright. On the other hand, you recognise that what he did was not alright, without requiring independent validity.

But, actually what you did do was protect yourself very well - you went elsewhere. That as a professional should have concerned him but it didn't. You WERE clear in your message to him. He chose to ignore it.

You are fully in control of what you do now. You may well wish to contact the police. I believe you, and there will be lots of other women thinking: I did wonder...

If you do, it may well be the case that a further trial is order against him. On the other hand, you may feel that you've dealt with this and that he is now suffering his choices. Just one thing to remember: whatever you decide to do now is because you're absolutely have the power to make an informed, adult decision. I support you, whatever you decide. But, please remember you didn't do anything wrong.

Thank you Terrortree, you are very kind and I'm so sorry that this happened to you.

God, what a shock for you to see this. So sorry it happened to you :( glad you've had great advice, take care

I'm not surprised you are having trouble processing it. How horrible.

Offering a hand to hold. I am so sorry you had to go through that at a time when you were at your most vulnerable. X

I'm sorry that this happened to you - it's very traumatic to read something like that and realise that you were in fact a victim. A lot to come to terms with.

I do urge you to go to the police though. The man is 70 and got an 11 year sentence. He could be out in 5 or 6 and live another 20 years. I think that you need to ensure that the police have a chance of bringing further charges against him, although I realise this is a potential ordeal for you.

Another here who thinks you should go to then police. Perhaps other women who have read the article will be brave enough to do the same, and maybe there will be matching elements in your stories that will be damning against him.
Worth a try. x

Look on the bright side,he will die in prison and until that happens he will suffer.

I'm so sorry you were a victim of this monster.
I believe one of the victims was on this morning a few weeks ago appealing for more victims to come forward.

Something similar happened to me many years ago. The GP is probably dead now as he was elderly at the time. I still wonder if I should report it, but who to? And would anyone care now?

Goodness me, how terrible. I'm so sorry OP. I think you should report if you feel able and also seek whatever support you need to help you process this.
As an aside, I hope this thread can provide you with support but do be careful not to give any information which identifies you. As the victim of a sex offence, you do have a legal right to anonymity and MN would be required to delete anything which could possibly identify you.
Very best wishes to you. Glad the bastard is behind bars.

Thank you to everyone who posted, I really appreciate the support. I'm gearing up to call the non emergency number, also found the name do the Dect Con who led the enquiry. I don't live anywhere near now, and haven't for some years.

I don't watch This Morning, but it's interesting to hear they are still asking people to come forward.

Mirry, I'm so sorry this happened to you too. I know it's affected how I interact with Doctors - not going for gynae problems, dealing with horrendous periods, until it was too late and having to have a hysterectomy not that long ago. Probably could have been avoided.

I am delighted the sick abusive bastard is in jail.