To not let my mother back into our lives update, xmas text

[bongobaby]

Since last coming here to post about my toxic/abusive relationship with my mother. I had taken steps to get back on track in trying to sort out my head and address all the hurt that had been deeply buried away.
Last week after no contact since I bumped into her she sends a text to me saying "Off on xmas day do you want to do lunch?" AIBU to think that she is selfish and rude to not even enquire how I am/have been or enquired about her grandchild in this text? Or is this an olive branch?
Or is this what many other lovely previous posters have said that she is getting lonely in her old age and doesn't want to be sat alone on xmas day?
She bloody well confuses my head all the time she reappears..

Do you even want to spend Christmas day with her?

I suspect not.

If she is lonely I'd suggest it is because of her previous behaviour and so is tough.

Or is this what many other lovely previous posters have said that she is getting lonely in her old age

Are you being sarcastic?

If so, don't ask for advice in AIBU if you don't like the replies if they differ to your own view.

wow! wingsofgildedsilver that was harsh!

bongobaby - you might be better to get this moved to relationships - there are a lot of us over there who can give you advice about toxic parents

re: your post, no idea if it's an olive branch, but as youthecat said, do you actually WANT to spend Christmas Day with her? More to the point, do you want her back in life? Until you know that you will continue with this back and forth relationship you both have

If she's abusive then either ignore (if you have decided to go non contact), or send a text saying 'no thanks, we have plans' . Don't get sucked in to wondering how to make her love you - and don't give her the opportunity to spoil Christmas if she is toxic/ abusive.

Wings no I am not being sarcastic and if you have read my previous post on this I am drawing from other posters advice of her being lonely and not at all interested in me but just herself. I think that you are being a bit harsh to say so.
How do I bump please into relationships?

I think you use the report function and ask MNHQ to move it.

Seriously, Bongo, I don't think I've read your other threads but if she is that bad just leave her to it. She's done this to herself.

Hi,

We're just letting you know that we've been asked to move this into relationships.

We're wishing you all the best, bongobaby.

Just say, no, thank you, we have other plans. And you could add, please do not contact me again. Them report to police for harassment.